It Must be Nice to be the Sun
by the-fish92
Summary: HIATUS! RK AU: Daily life isn't always easy when you're in love with your supposedly best friend, who is ALSO a male. Especially when said friend has little to no sympathy.. It must be nice to be Kanda. Even though that would mean not being me.
1. One

**HELLO, WELCOME, and thank you so much for clicking my story, I appreciate it, seriously!**

**Warning: Spoilers (does "Cyril"/"Sheryl" say you anything? If not, you probably shouldn't read this), foul language, gay romance, drugs and violence. Much of it won't come until later, though.**

**Disclaimer: The characters of D. Gray-man (C) Hoshino Katsura, not me**

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CHAPTER ONE**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun, because the sun can't see any of the shadows it casts.

:x:

_It must be nice to be Kanda_, I thought. _Even though that would mean not being the awesome me that is Lavi. Which would totally suck._

I was on my way to the cinema. It was Lenalee who had invited Allen, Yuu and myself to celebrate our favorite Japanese who had gotten an A in English literary class. And yes, that is a_ big_ accomplishment for our dear Kanda. It had been a huge shock for his classmates when the teacher Mister Reever had announced the astonishing grade for his essay. Yuu had just 'tch'ed and hidden the essay away deep in his bag. None of us were allowed to read it. Not even _me_. I acted greatly offended over that. Which didn't help one fuck, because Yuu was so stubborn. He just wouldn't let me read it no matter how much I bugged him, and it irked me to no end. Once my curiosity was piqued, I wasn't one to let the object of interest go. That's why I sought Yuu out on the first school day, way back in our freshman year in the first place. The longhaired man was just so fucking interesting. If it wasn't for my curiosity, we would never have been friends. Shouldn't he be grateful? Most of the time he cursed my curiosity to hell, but I'm sure he really loved me, deep down. Maybe. Perhaps. Almost.

At first, Yuu had firmly refused to go to the movies to celebrate, but hey, who can go against Lenalee's woman-power-will? No one. Fearing her female Psycho Mental Sniper intuition was the only sane thing to do. And even Kanda is sane. To some degree.

I had been looking forward to this day, actually. A whole evening, dedicated only to Kanda. I had an excuse to annoy and fawn over him as much as I wanted. Well, until he went straight for the jugular, anyway. But a little was enough.

:x:

The cinema was a big, bare, red block squeezed in between an office building and some shabby apartment. It was ten past eight in the evening, and not many people were about. Since it was February, the nights were cold. It was already dark and the lampposts were lit, gracing the concrete sidewalk with an eerie light that fitted more in some crime series from TV than in real life. My breath came out as puffy white clouds, and I was glad it didn't snow, because my worn out Converse would've been doomed. I blew hot air into my fists as I passed the glass doors and entered the warm lounge. Lenalee waved at me from a corner, Allen sipping at his cola beside her.

Lenalee and I had always been great friends, ever since middle school, when she had just started in 6th grade and I was in 8th. She is the nicest and most emphatic person I have ever known, actually. She could see right through my happy mask when I was sad, and she wouldn't tell anyone, she would just let me talk it out when we were alone and I needed someone to listen. Then, the year after when I started high school I met Kanda, and even though he was tough, Lena and I eventually got to him, somehow. There hadn't been much doubt about her starting in the same high school we attended, two years later.

Things had gotten even more fun when Allen, the year after that, started as a freshman. That kid is the weirdest (and only) Brit I have ever been blessed to meet. He could make me laugh just by existing. And damn, his accent was hilarious. He and Yuu were seriously exchanging too many insults, though. But Al was pretty hardcore, he always pulled out of seemingly impossible situations. Really, me and Yuu's asses would've been ripped to pieces if it hadn't been for the kid, when we _accidentally_ set fire to one of the school's sheds last year. Ah, those were the golden times.

Even now, with Kanda in college, me with a job while studying history, and Lena and Al still in high school, we still spent a lot of time together. Basically, life was great. Except for the fact that Kanda had to take those extra English Literary classes, because he'd failed miserably. (That not having anything to do with his Japanese nationality, thank you very much. The problem was prose.) Until yesterday, anyway. And I was still going to act pissed at him for not letting me read his essay.

"How's it goin', guys?" I asked ever so jovially. "Yuu ol' boy hasn't arrived yet?"

Allen and his hilarious accent said "Why, good afternoon," which is British for "Hi," and Lenalee confirmed that Kanda was indeed a tad bit late. I did not let that waver me as I went to the candy shop to get a soft drink. There were 10 minutes till the movie started, anyway.

As I sat down in a chair at the little round table, Lenalee spoke up.

"So, you two aren't doing anything Friday two weeks from now, are you?"

Allen tilted his head in thought, "No, I don't believe so."

I threw my hands in the air. "And miss my best fem friends' fucking awesome birthday party that will rock Hollywood into oblivion? Like hell no!" She was turning seventeen, and because she and Miranda had decided to combine their parties, it was sure to be damn great. Miranda had turned 25 a few weeks ago, and had yet to celebrate. Also, with Miranda, a legal adult, Lenalee's scary older brother could be taken out of the equation. The two girls could plan the party themselves. It was going to be epic.

She clapped her hands in excitement. "Yeah I know! It's going to be the most wicked double birthday party ever!"

"Splendid," Allen smiled, and they began to talk animatedly about the upcoming event. Meanwhile, my mobile had begun vibrating and I picked it out of my pocket to discover that it was Yuu calling. I turned around in my chair, looked towards the doors, and held the phone to my ear.

"Yo," I could hear the sound of a car engine in the background.

"_Fuckwit,_" was his reply. "_Where. The hell. Is the fucking cinema?_"

I smiled, because of course Yuu would get lost, like, minutes before the movie started. It was obligatory. So I took my time to calmly explain to him the way, since he had somehow managed to end up halfway out of town.

:x:

Just eight minutes later Kanda burst into the room.

"You!" he pointed at us with an accusing finger. There was something decidedly apocalyptic and doomsday-promising in Kanda's voice, and I didn't know if it should have turned me on or if I should shit my pants. "Are never inviting me to the fucking movies ever again." And it made me wonder just how Lenalee had him agree to come in the first place.

Oh, wait. Secret Lena-woman-powers, better not ask.

I got out of my chair and bellowed, wondering why I was acting suicidal. "Sunshine! Congrats with the A! We knew you weren't as stupid as you looked!"

"Piss off, shithead."

"Watch it, Lavi, he might just go samurai on you," Allen couldn't help but comment. Said samurai threw him a nasty retort, and while those two stood bitching for a while, Lena and I got our jackets and made ready to enter the theatre where Kill Bill would be showing.

"Move it, losers," I yelled over my shoulder, and in less than a second Yuu was at my side, bared teeth- no, bared fangs just inches away from my face, and I could feel the samurai killer intent.

"Stuff it, tard," he growled. Yes growled, because Kanda can growl. He brushed past me, roughly ramming my shoulder as he followed Lenalee.

I stood shock still. "Am I still alive?" I didn't mean to say that out loud. Al came over and pinched my arm. "Ouch! Al!" I yelped.

"You do seem quite lively, actually," he smiled his creepy smile, and I couldn't help but grin.

"Yeah yeah I get it. Fuck, that hurt, though."

Allen laughed and walked after the others. I turned to face the wall and held still for a moment. Taking my hands to my face, I tried to conceal the annoying blush I was pretty sure I was wearing. Yuu had stood rather close, after all. _Damn you, human biological reactions_, I thought.

Oh, that's right. I forgot to mention that.

I was unwillingly in love with Yuu Kanda.

**

* * *

1st Dec 09 - Authors Rant:**

**I searched for a profanity list on google. Oh yes i did. Kanda demanded it. Anyhow, this can be seen as a continuation to my one-shot "**_**Lavi and Kanda, Kanda and Lavi"**_**, chapter 3: "**_**11 am"**_**. I get a lot of inspiration to the environment from my home city Aarhus, Denmark, which is like, a lot different from an American city... maybe the story should just take place in Denmark? It stunned me a bit how much I have to research in order to write this fic as it takes place America. That land is weiiiiiird, haha... jk, jk**

**I also have a question for you guys: is Lena's birthday on the 10th or 20th?**

**THERE WILL BE PLOT. LATER. I know this is short, but this is just a sort of prologue. Future chapters will be 3,000+ words, and updated monthly (if possible).**

**PLUGGING!****: the author Novelist Pup. Is. Too. Awesome for words. His and Emiggax's fic "Any way you want it" is the best DGM fic I have ever read, they inspire me so fucking much, you won't believe it. They make the 80'ies seem so much cooler. They make Allen so much cooler. THEY MAKE HIS DOG THE COOLEST! In short, "Any way you want it" is a humorous, silly, exiting, breathtaking, amazing fic. *fangirl squeal* Go read it! Or die...**

**Qritique (as well as mindless babble) reviews always appreciated.**

**EDIT 7th jan 2010:**** Beta'ed by Hearmelaugh. Also, I have decided this fic **_**will**_** take place in Aarhus, Denmark.**


	2. Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun. Cus' y'know… free year-round heater, nice 'n warm.

:x:

"That movie was surprisingly enjoyable," Allen said as we walked away from the theater in the chilly night air. He seemed somewhat disturbed that _that _kindof violent, American movie had been to his taste. He was a gentleman (read: British pansy) at heart, after all.

Kanda, who was walking in front of us hurrying to his car, seemed to have enjoyed the movie to some extent as well.

"Fuck, she was trying so goddamn hard to kill this Phil-whatever guy, even though they were like this," he held up a hand, crossing his index and middle fingers, "in the past. Why didn't she just kill him back then? Weak shit licker. He better be _fucking_ badass, otherwise watching number two will be boring as hell."

"Yeah, and that Gogo girl with the flying iron ball of doom? Mega warped. So hyped. Damn, that was a pretty bloody film, am I right?" Lenalee said.

"Right, it's what we thought would please Yuu the most, after all," I laughed. I ran over to him and flung my arm around his shoulders.

"Say, hon', you actually paid attention to the movie? That's new! So you did enjoy the evening, hmmm-?"

"Screw you! I was forced to come!" He shoved my arm away. "And don't call me _Yuu _or _hon_, wanker!"

"But honeyyy…" I was about to tease him some more, because really, it was too much fun, but Lena broke in:

"Dude, you got an A for an essay. _E-s-s-a-y, _Kanda! How can we not enforce a celebration on you?" She was smiling widely. She _knew_ Yuu had feelings deep deep deep down, it was all about rummaging through his very soul and force it out.

"Really, Kanda, for once in your life you actually have something you can gloat about. Come now, don't hold back," Allen was also smiling, clearly being provocative, and Yuu, the lovable (and lethal) idiot, took the bait.

"Bitch..."

"Dumb arse."

"Mutherfucker."

"Prick."

"Dickweed."

"Bastard."

"Bitch."

"You already said that…" Allen deadpanned.

"That's because you're double up on bitch, bitch," Kanda snorted.

"My, that's charming…"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Keep digging, Watson."

"WITH CHERRIES ON TOP!" I yelled. And they looked at me like _I _was the idiot. Well, I had to say something, right? Right. Those two could go on all night, and I seriously felt like doing something more exciting than this.

"And Café 65!" Lenalee then burst out. And then we all looked at her like _she _was the idiot. She pouted. "No seriously, guys, let's go eat waffles at Café 65."

"That was café Tapp until last month, was it not? It changed name to 65? And isn't Tapp still in hospital?" Allen asked her, eyebrow cocked in question.

I'd heard the story. Café Tapp was, like, one of the best places in town, really great coffee and salads, but then the owner Tapp Dopp got cancer and had to sell it. Luckily it seemed the new owner, a weird guy named Mr. 65, hadn't changed it much. Tapp was still in hospital, though, and sadly his situation didn't seem to get any better. I'd talked a lot with our mutual friend Johnny who was really down over it. Lenalee had invited him tonight as well, actually, since both Johnny and Tapp were quite good acquaintances of hers. Alas, he had excused himself with study. I noted myself that I'd have to check up on the bespectacled boy later.

"That's true… But they still have waffles! Let's follow Miss Lee, then. Some Café sounds good to me, right now," I patted her on the shoulder. Allen said: "Hear, hear!" and came over and put his hand on her other shoulder. We all turned our brightly smiling faces towards Yuu, and shit, it must've looked seriously creepy.

He shuddered and looked like he was contemplating how to voice his disinclination best, or most threateningly. That is, however, only until Lenalee lowered her eyes and voice. Somehow she made her words sound coal black:

"Oh, darling cherished Kanda, as your friends we greatly appreciate the time spent together, and I do think it is obligatory to rejoice in each other's company whenever one experiences accomplishment, like we are always there for each other when in need of help because _clearly_ you do not want to weaken this strong bond that binds us together for you must know that the rest of us would _never_ let you down if _you _were the one wanting to go to a certain café at ten thirty o' bloody clock PM." She then lifted her chin again and smiled brightly, all hidden maliciousness gone, "You owe me after that time I paid your bus ticket, anyway."

Oh god. She was having the red, that's for sure.

Or maybe she just _intensely _wanted waffles at 65.

My hand was frozen on her shoulder. I looked at Yuu and immediately saw that he was beaten. Damn, how did she _do _that? His eyes were comically wide, his mouth open, some profanity probably stuck on his tongue. He quickly regained composure however, huffing, crossing his arms and saying what he said most: "Tch, whatever." That's my Yuu, everyone. That's my Yuu.

Allen laughed, completely unaffected by whatever wicked evil Lena hid within her female soul. This was most likely because he himself hid even more black, creepy evilness inside than the rest of us put together.

"Way to voice it, Lenalee, I do believe he'll be getting the first round this evening." The two of them began walking in the other direction towards down town, and Kanda was pointing his finger at Allen's departing back.

"To anyone but you, snot-nosed runt!" was all he could manage.

We began walking after them, and I practically skipped at Yuu's side. "Does that mean you'll buy _me _a drink as well, hon?" 100% sex appeal, activate!

"Not even if you were dying of thirst, fucktard. Especially not if you were dying of thirst." Activation fail. But yeah, I was getting used to this, so no worries, no bleeding heart, I can take it. Totally.

"Can I read your essay?"

"I'm not even going to answer that because you've been asking that same freaking fucking question four times a day since Wednesday. No."

"You just answered, though," I couldn't help but chuckle. "You're seriously painfully pricking my curiosity Yuu. What the hell did you write in that essay? Was it personal? Real life experience? Your emo childhood?"

"Not listening, la la la," he said mockingly, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.

"Hell, did an epiphany hit you too hard in the head? Sudden overpowering inspiration? Did you get laid? What experience could _possibly _force you into little literal affairs?"

"Shove it, heeb. You just made an essay sound like a sex crime."

"I'm just that awesome, hon."

"Shut the fuck up." And a moment later, "And don't call me fucking _hon', _faggot."

I held up a fist playfully. "Wanna' fight?"

"Ha! Like you could bear the pain that comes with a fight." He almost said "lol" but sadly held it in. And yeah, I probably didn't take pain very well, and getting in a fight would no doubt be suicide.

He _did _buy me and Lenalee a beer that night, nevertheless. But not Allen. He had to get himself a juice.

:x:

"_Where the FUCK is Hillsroad?_" Kanda barked through the phone, sounding enraged.

Monday mornings always came too early. But the good thing about today was that Yuu and I were going out. Okay, so maybe we weren't going out, but we _were_ going to Hill's Store. Together. Alone. To do the completely pleasant and agreeable task of buying tons of liquor. Yay.

"Dude, it's like, seven minutes away from the cathedral or something." Maybe I sounded a bit snooty.

"_Fuck you, heeb."_

"Quit the Hebrew dissing, I'm only one quarter Israeli…"

"_Shut up… Abdullah."_ Abdullah? For real, Kanda?

"Fuck you too, Jap," I smiled.

I was at home, in my apartment, trying to tell Kanda where the store was, because he needed to know the way since he was the one driving. I was to meet him at his place in an hour or so, and then we'd drive to Hill's Store. Lenalee had given the two of us the mighty task of buying liquor for her party.

"What_ever, _Raven, I know the way, I'll show you when we get to it."

"_Twatwaffle."_

"Watcha say, Raven? It sure sounded shitty." I was trying not to laugh out loud at this point. But then he hung up, and I was all "bawwww". But then one minute later he called again.

"_Dude. Like. You've got one fucking hour. Better be here on time, I want to get the drug dealing over with."_

"What a horrible way to dub it, Yuu," I grunted sarcastically, because pot really wasn't the same. "But sure, I'll be driving from my place in a second. See ya. HONEY!" And I hang up before he could retort. Haha, smart me. Not childish at all.

:x:

I was riding my bicycle, and…

Whaddya saying? Oh, you thought I was going to drive my _car? _Fuck, you think I can afford kickass shit like that!

Anyway, I was riding my bicycle, and getting to midtown only took twenty minutes. I was lucky my roommate Suman had agreed we split the pay to buy this bike, and that the flat we lived in wasn't that far from the city centre. It was truly a lifesaver when certain moody friends craved instant appearance. Suman didn't use it much though, because I always brought it with me practically everywhere I went. Yes, I loved my bike. Not as much as I crushed on Yuu, but it was still love, man.

I halted on the track, waiting for the traffic light to turn green. As I looked to my right, I noticed that the jewelry store, _Brothel Bracelet,_ from which Lenalee often bought earrings, was celebrating their twentieth birthday. 20% off piercings and selected ornaments. Twenty percent? I'd have to remember to tell her. I lazily turned my head forward again, and as the cars went left and right through the intersection in front of me, my brain started an association chain.

_Lenalee, (nice legs), earrings, jewelry, Brothel Bracelet, sale, piercings, sale on piercings…_

"Holy-!" Just as the light turned green I grabbed the handlebars with much vigor and sharply turned my bike onto the sidewalk. The cyclists behind me looked really shocked, and a car honked angrily. But to hell with the rest of humanity, because I'd just gotten the revelation of the century. Or, of the day. Hour. Whatever.

I hastily parked the bike against a tree, and on a bench beside it sat an old lady with an ugly dog who had apparently seen my traffic manners, or lack thereof. She sent me the most disturbingly haughty, aggravated look an old woman could possibly send. She looked like she wanted to say "_kids these days, harrumph," _or some other old people talk like that.

I sent her my most charming smile. "Nice weather, isn't it, old hag?" And then I ran to the Brothel Bracelet like my life depended on it.

:x:

_I am SO having a piercing, _I thought. Kanda would have a cow when he figured. _Thought I was afraid of pain? Well, think again. _I was resolute in my decision.

"One hole in each ear? That'll be one hundred and thirty kroner." I stuck a two hundred bill over the counter to the burly, bald, muscular man. As I received my change, Mr. burly pointed to a door in the back of the room. "Just line up in the queue behind that door."

I grinned and saluted. "Thanks a bunch, dude!"

"I'm a woman," the bald… woman said a little curtly.

Well _shit_.

If this was a manga I would've sweatdropped. But instead I just shut my mouth and hurried to the door.

The door led to a small staircase that led down to a little room with yet another door. The room was bare, with linoleum floor and concrete walls. Some techno song was blaring from the radio in the corner. The other door was shut and on it was a sign saying: "Do not enter if the door is closed." Six people besides me were down here.

_Huh, I thought this would just take a minute,_ I thought while furrowing my brows_. _I sat down on the stairs, pulled forth my mobile, and texted Kanda that I might be ten minutes late.

As I waited I listened to three of the other youngsters who talked and laughed together in Turkish. They were joking about some program on TV. They reminded me of Daisya, who himself was a happy-go-lucky sort of guy. Always trying to pull some prank on Froi, Yuu or Marie. I began thinking about Yuu and his "family."

Yuu hadn't told me everything_, _but I'd talked with his "family" too, so I knew his approximate situation. Apparently he had become an exchange student, and came here four and a half years ago from Japan to graduate high school. Froi Theodore, a nice old guy, almost excessively sympathetic, had become his host father, even though he already hosted Marie from Austria and Daisya from Turkey. But I guess Froi was just the homey, family-guy kind of person. He loved brats, as he himself voiced it.

I chuckled low in my throat. Marie and Daisya had no problem calling Froi "father", since it was courtesy, and they had become close during the time they spent together. Even so, Kanda _completely_refused to succumb to family-ness, and it was severely fun to see him and his "father" clash, because somehow the old man knew how to handle him. And Yuu always ended up sulking in a corner like some teenager.

I sat like that and reminisced for a while, only dully noticing the minutes passing and people walking by me up the stairs.

"So, who's next?"

I almost started, my head rising from where it had been resting on my palm. Quickly looking around, I realized that: _dude, it's empty in here_. I stood up and walked to the lady who stood in the doorway. Seemed I had been completely lost in thought.

"That'd be me!" I grinned at her. _Strike! _Was all I could think, 'cus hot damn, she was good-looking. She stepped back and let me into the room. It was brightly lit by white lamps, and somehow it managed to be stuffy and tidy all at the same time. The lady went to wash her hands in a sink, and talked to me over her shoulder.

"I'm Anita. Sit down. What can I help you with?"

"Lavi, nice ta' meetcha'," I smiled brightly as I sat down, because smiling always seemed polite. "I'd just like a regular hole in each earlobe." I pointed at my ears.

"We'll have that fixed for you nice and easy," she replied, smiling as well. See what I mean? Smiling is an icebreaker, man. Yuu the Social Rainbow Fairy should learn from me.

"Say, how long will the birthday sale last?" Because Lena was sure to want to buy something too.

"Till Friday. Lift your chin."

I did as I was told. She held a marker in her hand, and she brushed away my hair and drew two little dots to indicate where the holes would be. She said: "Go look in the mirror."

I stood, looked, and nodded, satisfied with the placement. I then sat down again.

"So, Lavi, what set would you like?" She smiled again, and held a board studded with small earrings out towards me. I took it and threw a glance over them. Finally I pointed at a semi-big one with a green stone in it.

She used a small little gun-like tool and shot the two holes one after another. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, actually. My palms were a bit sweaty, but whatever.

:x:

As I waved goodbye to Anita and let the next costumer enter, I tried not to think too much about the stinging sensation in my ears. It hadn't hurt until now, actually. I really wanted to say "ow," but I am a man, so I don't say wimpy stuff like that. I walked over to look in a little mirror that was suited on a closet in a corner of the little basement room. I drew my hair back and looked at my newest ornaments.

"Ow…"

But deep down inside I was proud, and I took a hair band from my pocket to set my hair in a ponytail, making the earrings that much more visible.

_Yuu Kanda, if you don't notice, I will fuck you up, because I just went through PAIN_, I thought and smirked, not sure why the grin looked victorious in the mirror.

I didn't dare to say goodbye to Ms. Burly as I left the shop.

**

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4th Dec 09 - Authors Rant:**

**Why do I keep imagining Lavi with a mohawk? By the way, he is not as wimpy as I made him seem in this chapter. He's pretty badass, you'll see later on. The plot for this fic is getting more elaborate, and I bought a little notebook that can fit in my jeans' back pocket so whenever I get an idea, no matter where I am, I can just scribble it down. Handy, I tell ya, haha.**

**OMFG look it's human 65! Who is not an OC at all! If you can't remember, then google! Aaand, on another bright side, I now have grammar control and Word 2003. (lolololol it can spell dickhead, my life is complete) Yays for me :D Here in Aarhus, near the lake, lies a café called "Cross Café". Yes, I'm serious. Cosy place, lemme tells ya. Sorta overprized, tho. And you can't buy even a simple beer if you're under 18. Sad thing is, despite my age I **_**look**_** 15 D: so screw this.**

**I just found out that my first name means "gracious" in Hebrew. "**_**Gracious"?**_** FUCK that D: "Lavi" is Hebrew as well and means lion. Sexy, mmh? That's why I made him a quarter Israeli.**

**PLUGGING!:**** (weee :D) Featuring the author Hidden Records. You should definitely go read "Boxers or Briefs, Yuu?" It's even moar fun than it sounds. VERY well written, and guaranteeing a laughed off ass. I do not believe Lavi gets any more hilarious than that, it's extreme. Hidden Records can bend and use words in a way that will make many others seem like mere amateurs.**

**Critique (as well as mindless babble) reviews always appreciated.**

**EDIT 27th jan 2010:**** Chapter is now BETA'ed by Hearmelaugh. Also, to those of you who read this chapter before January 27th: YES I changed from the American dollar currency to Danish kroner. ****1 dollar equals 5.3 kroner or something**


	3. Three

**CHAPTER THREE**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun, because the sun is so far away from earthly issues.

:x:

"What the fuck…"

Yuu's reaction was even more precious than I had ever dreamed of. Unexpectedly, he noticed as soon as he opened the door. He was _gawking. _At _me. _Well, at my _ears, _really. But screw that. His eyes were completely wide and his mouth was open and I tried _very _hard not to giggle.

"That's the gayest you have ever done. And the list is long. And then you went and got freaking earrings. Do you _want _to make people think you are homosexual? Because that's what's going to happen. People will think you are _fucking gay._"

_As long as I'm gay for you, _I thought. "Awwww, don't say that, man. They're sexy!"

Kanda gave my earrings one last death glare and then turned around to walk to his kitchen with a shake of his head. I walked after him and closed the front door behind me.

We were at his house. I had just arrived, and he was about to get ready to leave, probably looking for his car keys or something. Every time I came to Yuu's house I got extremely envious that he _had _a goddamn house. The first impression of the dear Jap wasn't, you know, "RICH" or anything, but I noticed that he didn't seem to have any financial problems, not even after he bought this house approximately a year ago, the second he turned eighteen (most likely to get the hell away from Froi). He never talked about economy, and even though he was in college and had no job, he also owned a car and never failed to pay his bills. I mean, that's just unusual, honestly. I had a job and lived in a shabby flat. And Yuu wouldn't lend me as much as a twenty! Maybe that was because I still kind of owed him a hundred, but really…

It was a nice house in a calm neighborhood. It wasn't big, but he was only one living in it anyway. It was located at the other side of town from where I lived, so it took me a good fifty minutes to bike over here, thirty if I took the bus. Sadly, that meant I didn't get to visit often. The four of us mostly met at Lee's or in town. But, man, why didn't we crash here more often? This house was _nice, _and I'm sure he had a spare mattress or two somewhere, plus his couch. There was a kitchen openly adjoined with the living room, an office, a small entrance hall, a bedroom and a toilet. He even had a _gas cooker _for crying out loud! Do you know how awesome those are?

I leaned on a shelf in the living room. Kanda was still looking for his keys which gave me a rare chance to study the interior a bit more thoroughly.

Even though Yuu was of oriental origin, his home was pretty spartan and western. I spoke out of curiosity (an extremely common occurrence): "hey, Yuu, why don't you have Japanese paintings on you walls, or oriental carpets, or… kimonos and stuff?"

His head whipped around to glare at me. "Because I don't want to? Geez, I'm not that nationalistic, moron," he declared with his baritone voice, and went back to searching.

_That doesn't have anything to do with being nationalistic, Yuu m'princess, _I thought_. _Was he genuinely holding a grudge towards a whole _country_? That's some crucial hating right there. I looked at the stuff he had on the shelf I was leaning on. Books, a recharger, an empty tea mug, two matching candlesticks Lena had given him, a flute, some notes… wait, a flute?

"A flute?" Kanda looked up again. I continued in a disbelieving tone: "you play the flute?"

Yuu seemed disgruntled that I had noticed. "It's a shakuhachi flute. Just… don't ask."

"Sja – kuh – haa – chey?" I sounded like an idiot. It was totally on purpose.

"Shut up."

"Oh, right. You have a shakuhachey-thing, a katana, and a kanji tattoo on your chest. You are completely un-Japanese."

"It is not a fucking kanji, it's Sanskrit! Try Indian, dipshit."

I knew that. I knew the entire Sanskrit alphabet. Along with the Arabic, Hijazi and Hebrew alphabet as well... But poking fun of him was bloody amusing. I sniggered behind a cough.

"Then why not be a bit more… _nationalistic_, hm? Your accent was so cute." Associate the word _cute _with _Kanda _and he kills you. Well, that went for common mortals anyway, but since I'm Lavi the Kanda-Conqueror I can allow myself stuff like that. I cooed. "You called me _Rabi_! Like in "rabbit"! Do you have any idea how CUTE that is?"

"I will kill you."

He playfully threw a pencil in my general direction.

Okay, he didn't. He threw a dictionary with all his force and hit me straight on the jaw. Is this what it feels like to be a common mortal?

I yelped, but didn't take it personally. "I love the way you actually didn't kill me, Yuu," I smiled and rubbed my abused face.

"You're not worth the effort of going all the way to the bedroom to fetch my sword and then spill blood on my carpet."

"Huh, you would need a sword to kill me? You're, uh, quite thorough, aren't you…"

"It would ascertain that you were dead." He countered.

"You could kill me with a… lighter, too." I offered, just taking the first object that came to mind, really.

"Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids." And he gave me a nonchalant death glare a la O-Ren Ishii.

"Okay, you win," I laughed. _So he _did _pay attention to Kill Bill_, I thought happily. Anyway, Kanda wasn't known for doing anything halfassedly.

Dude, _halfassedly _is so not a word.

But back to the Japanese. It was actually rather unusual, he'd only lived here for, what, a little more than four years, and his Danish was just perfect. I remembered him having a heavy Japanese accent in our freshman year, but it was almost completely gone now. He seemed very keen on putting his heritage behind him. He did yell profanities in his mother tongue when he was _really, severely _mad (or drunk), but that wasn't often. Especially the drunk part. Kanda was prideful, and too dignified to get drunk to every damn social gathering or party he went to. Somehow, that made him all the more attractive to me. I liked the way he always seemed to keep his cool below his pissed-off surface, I loved the way he acted so strong and high-and-mighty and was so reliable and… unknown. Like an undiscovered territory, just waiting to be investigated. There was nothing better than teasing him and knowing I had pushed the right buttons when he yelled back. I tried to make him predictable, and when he reacted in a different way than what I had been expecting him to, I became all that more determined to break him down and sort him out and draw a map of him and _make him my possession_.

I almost laughed condescendingly at myself. Like Yuu Kanda could be owned, HA! What a joke.

"Fuck, it was there the whole time! God_damn_ that little piece of fucking deprived shit." Yuu stared furiously at his keys as if he could melt them with his eyes. When they hadn't become magma after five seconds, he opted to instead go to the entrance hall and put on his shoes.

I snapped out of my trance. "Wait up!" I stumbled after him.

"No way."

"Yes way, because I'm the only one who knows the magic road to Hills Store."

"So? I'll just go to Rome instead. All roads lead to Rome. I bet they have fine wine there." He said sourly and shrugged into his leather jacket.

"Sure, but Lena likes 'em vodkas! With Cola and tonic. And that smelly orange stuff."

"Huh? No beer?"

"This is Lenalee we're talking about, you know."

"Oh." And no more was said about that, because Lena _hated_ beer. Everyone and their mom knew that. Of course we weren't going to buy only vodka, but that was definitely a must.

Then I said: "Yo, shouldn't we hire a bartender for the party?"

"She already has. Baron Bartender. A man named Alistair Crowley runs it. Reasonable prizes." We walked out the door, and Kanda shuffled through his key bundle to find the right one.

"Cool. That girl is just way ahead of me!" I grinned. And I knew Yuu was going to comment that.

"Tch, really? Took you long enough to figure." Strike.

Yuu arranged his features in 'apathetic' and after he had locked his front door, we got into his car.

I knew the 'apathetic' look wasn't going to last long as soon as we hit the road.

:x:

"Motherfucker."

His maliciousness was so thick I could slice it with a wooden spoon. But I was truly surprised that he actually remained fairly calm. Well, calm for Kanda, anyway. Sure, he cursed like a Japanese blacksmith (or worse), but he didn't yell or punch. Definite plus. Had he taken Allen's suggestion and attended to anger management? Because that would be very odd.

"Easy, we'll be there in five minutes." _After a thirty minute ride, _my thoughts added. A thirty minute ride that should have taken ten. I would never mind spending time with Honey Kanda, but with him in this foul mood, it was hard to breathe in the atmosphere. And I found breathing rather nice, thank you very much.

"Don't you "easy" me, wanker. Seven minutes from the cathedral, ptch," he snorted.

"Hey, don't blame the cathedral," I grinned. Yuu seemed to brighten a bit, but whether it was from my completely awesome sense of humor, or the sign that read _Hills Store 3 km, _I didn't know.

… Probably my humor, though. Don't you think so?

:x:

Contrary to the car drive, buying liquor hadn't taken much time. Maybe that's because Yuu snarled so nastily at that woman in the queue so everyone scrammed and we got a check-out desk all for ourselves.

"So Raven's killer intent finally proves to be good for something. How very unexpected." But I was smiling so hard my cheeks hurt, and for some utterly incomprehensible reason I was _proud. _We were at the small, crammed parking lot, filling vodka and gin and soda and drinks alike into the trunk.

"Stuff it, idiot. Man, shopping gives me a headache. And that fucking woman had it coming." He rubbed his temples. "And don't call me Raven."

"That fucking woman asked you to please hand her the cart."

"Potato potarto. She was being demanding."

"She was _old_," I laughed. "Dude, chill! You run out of weed or something? You're crankier than usual."

"What part of "stuff it, idiot" didn't you understand?" He slammed the trunk door closed with composed movements, still somehow managing to be calm and unviolent.

"You know what you need, Raven? You need some cheering up!" He rolled his eyes exasperatedly and clenched his fists. "C'mon, Yuu, jumpstyle!" I began dancing jumpstyle to imaginary music, and he pushed my shoulder.

"You're being a tard. Stop the dancing for a sec." I halted my very elegant dance movements (that weren't very elegant by the way) and he spoke again: "We can go home now, right?"

I paused, scratching my chin in pseudo thoughtfulness. "Actually nawwww. We need one more thing." I grinned. "Remember Tyki Tube?"

He immediately narrowed his eyes. He didn't trust that guy.

"I don't trust that guy." He stated.

See? "But! Yuu, you're being unreasonable here! You never gave him a chance!" I wailed.

He just narrowed his eyes even more. "I did. And then he tried to sell me hash." Well, that was also quite an unlucky episode. But done was done. "That guy is _twisted._"

Well, yes he was, but he had pot. And he sells.

I flailed my arms in the air. "Are you kidding? He's my brother from another mother!" I tried to assure- no, to persuade him. "And you see, hon, _I _actually just ran out of weed. I really need some more if I want to bring some to the party too." Normally I wouldn't do this with Kanda because I knew he hated it, but the party was this Friday, and I had work and study this week, so getting it done now was most practical. "Seriously-"

"Don't call me hon."

"-Yuu, Mill Park is just ten minutes walk away from here, it won't be long."

Mill Park was a sort of gathering place for a lot of young people, right next to the library. It was a spot with grass and a few trees in the middle of the city, and quite a nice place to hang out. Tyki was homeless (at least he proclaimed to be). Tube was a nickname he had been given. He spent most of his time either there or at Ease's flat. Ease was just a skinny little punk, but everybody seemed to like him. What was weird was the fact that even though Tyki was poor as a poop, he always carried hash around. He was very suspicious, but it was important that I kept on friendly food with him, because he sold it to me pretty cheap. I actually suspected the guy for having a crush on me…

_Shudder._

What I don't do for my weed. I looked at Kanda. I really hated to beg, and if he didn't want to go, I'd just have to go myself.

"Grrrr," he sounded truly pissed, and I idly wondered if he would finally succumb to his violent ways. Because then I would possibly have to run for my life. "Okay," he sighed.

My face must've worn a stupefied expression, since he once again looked at me like I was a complete idiot. (Also a common occurrence.)

"Fucking awesome, Yuu!" I jumped a less-than-jumpstyle-ish jump, clapping my hands.

After he had locked his car we started walking towards Mill Park. Yuu didn't speak, so to break the silence I said something I thought would annoy him enough that he would retort angrily.

Smile plastered to my face like always. "So, why the flute, of all instruments?"

"Because then the music teacher couldn't force me to sing." He stated surprisingly calmly, not missing a beat.

This was one of those moments where I was stunned into silence because he had reacted in a way that was _so _different from what I thought he would. I didn't say anything for five minutes straight. Must've been a new record.

But then I started talking again. "So you still play it a lot?"

"Shut up. Let's not talk about a flute." _Then what should we talk about, Yuu? Your nice ass? Cus' I could totally talk about that. _"Let's talk about how big an idiot you are." _Yuu, you need more exiting subjects…_

And the rest of the walk we talked about how big an idiot I was.

Just to amuse Yuu Honey, of course.

:x:

As we entered the park, I spotted a little group I knew among all the people. I headed straight for them.

"Yo! Brownie, 'sup?" I greeted one of the guys, Brownie, jovially. He was from Pakistan, and not really brown, but he was called that anyway.

"Hey Lavi. Nothing much. Looking for Tube?"

"It's so wicked how you can read my thoughts, man. But yeah, where is the dear guy?" I looked around. Brownie just shrugged and scratched his Mohawk absentmindedly.

Yuu stood off to the side, not really paying me any attention. He was concentrating on _not _hitting the two girls that had started to fawn over him. Which needed _a lot_ of focus, by the looks of it.

Not many seconds later someone poked me on the shoulder and I turned my head to look.

"Darling, darling, darling. Coming to visit me again? Craving my services, mmh?" His voice was drawling and he was smiling, but I swear, had he been saying that to _you, _you would've been scared shitless.

"Ha ha, always in your happy place, aren't you, Tyki?" I blessed my acting skills as I let no emotion but joy and politeness slip my mask. He casually laid his hand on my shoulder. All the more reason to suspect that he was in fact an incurable perv.

"Of course, since my happy place is right next to you." His smile grew wider, and he gazed directly at my one good eye.

See what I mean?

**

* * *

10th Dec 09 - Author's Rant:**

**Fyi, shit now takes place in Denmark. Excuse my indecisiveness. And if you don't know what the hell "denmark" is, then google it :D Google is your friend. **_**Also,**_** if you're Dane, let's just pretend that our school system is 8th grade to freshman instead of 9th grade to sophomore. Sorry, I fail.  
Oh, btw, in Denmark you can buy alcohol from 16 years up. Tobacco is 18, as well as driver's license and right to vote. Kthxbai.**

**I was almost shaking with joy when I saw you guys' reviews. I was so happy it made me high. Thank you so much. Be glad I don't know where you sleep, cus I would come and glomp you if I did.**

**NO, Tyki is NOT reduced to a mere pusher D: he's just that guy you call when you need some pot cus he's the only one who carries it with him where ever he goes and is willing to sell. Fortunate for Lavi :D But, dude, why is there so much druggery in this chapter? I don't even drink that much, lmao.**

**Theodore=Tiedoll and Crowley=Krory. I'm sorry, but in my opinion it sounds better :)  
**

**THANK YOU ANNETTE AOI for pointing out the silly rabbit :D kudos to you other common mortals if you recognize it!**

**PLUGGING:**** Hearmelaugh: Environmentally Friendly. ****A great read you will surely enjoy! Sweet and fun and a lot more. It holds a lot of Lavi-and-Kanda-moments that are simply epic, and they are still in my mind, and they still crack me up. "Shit goes down when a stubborn jap decides to go green." :D :D :D AND THAT IS NOT THE ONLY AWESOME FIC, Hearmelaugh wrote more, be sure to check them out!**

**Critique (as well as mindless babble) reviews always appreciated.**


	4. Four

**CHAPTER FOUR**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun, because ceci n'est pas une pipe.

:x:

After five minutes of polite talking on my side, wannabe-seducing on Tyki's side, and I-ignore-you-all on Kanda's side, I got to the point.

"Say, Tube, you have any hashish? I need to buy some grams of you." I tugged at my scarf, getting more and more cold as it was slowly getting darker.

Tyki reached into his pocket and drew out a little plastic wrapping the better size of an average school rubber.

He pursed his lips and said: "not much, some remains. You need cones?"

"Nah, I got the paper. How much do you want for that?" I pointed at in his hand.

He smiled (very disturbingly) and spoke in a soft voice. "For you, darlin', five grams, one hundred and eighty."

_Jesus, that's actually cheap. _And no matter how dirty I felt and sinister it was, I was glad he had a thing for me, because everyone knows Tube has good wares.

I happily took the accurate amount of money from my wallet in my jeans back pocket. I grinned: "Dude, you freeload at a twelve-year-old's house, but you can still afford weed. How come?"

His smile got a sinister glint. His voice was very deep, deeper than Yuu's. Girls would call it sexy. "Curiosity killed the cat." He slung his arm over my shoulder and I wasn't sure if he was threatening or coming on to me. Probably the latter, knowing Tyki.

"Haha, but you see, I'm actually a rabbit," I looked at Kanda and outside I was laughing, but inside I was screaming _shit fuck help get him off of me man!_

Yuu had just pried off the two chattering girls.

And he said: "Tch, whatever."

Great. Just great. It was freezing, I was getting hungry, Tyki was being a pain and now I _really_ just wanted to get the fuck out of here and bring the alcohol to Kanda's place and go home to take a shower. And maybe make some pancakes. Perhaps I could ask Yuu to come? Nah, he didn't like pancakes.

"Yuuuu. Don't be shy." And after a second: "Raven." He hated it when I called him Raven. But I loved it when he called me rabbit. I just didn't tell him that.

"Don't test me, rabbit." He looked at me, and then despondently at the cannabis in Tyki's hand.

"Why, because you're a Jedi warrior?" I smiled, trying to take his concentration elsewhere.

"Exactly. Fuck with me, and I melt your brain."

"I'm only the slightest bit worried that you're actually capable of that," I laughed somewhat nervously.

What made me more nervous though, was that Tyki had yet to remove his arm. I took the hash from his hand on my shoulder, put the money in it instead, all the while very sneakily unraveling my way from under his grip. He just kept smiling like the creepo he was.

Suddenly my mobile rang. I blessed the aversion and modern technology.

"Yo?" I said, not bothering to look at the ID, just eager to take a couple of steps away from The Creepo.

"_Hey, Lavi!_" Lenalee's cheerful voice responded in the other end. I immediately perked up. The day was saved. The one woman of utter brilliance was talking to me.

"Lena-lady! My fav' chink, what's up?" I asked, forgetting all about pervs and drugs and stupid, sexy friends that just said 'tch'.

"_Man, Laviii, I totally need to buy a gift for Miranda! Could we, like, meet up in town or something? Pretty please and puppy eyes?_"

Ha, like she expected me to actually be able to resist her fearsome prowess.

"Sure thing. Can I bring Kanda, too?" And said Kanda shot me a nasty glance, probably not wanting to go shopping at all. _Take that, _I thought very un-childishly, and continued talking to Lena. "You know they have a sale at Brothel Bracelet, right?"

She squealed the way only Asian teenage girls could squeal, and said: "_Oh my god, that's just where I wanted to go! I love you!_" Ladies and gentlemen, my best femi friend. "_And your awesome information-collecting-skills, of course. When can you guys be there?_"

"Oh, let's see, with the speed of Kanda chasing me to skin me alive, we'll most likely arrive there in, say, ten minutes."

And guess what Yuu said? That's right. "Tch." It was adorable, really. And in reality a huge improvement, now I thought about it. Two years ago what he said most was 'I will kill you and your family'. I had to give him more credit.

"_I'm at the busstop now, I'm probably there in twenty, unless the bus is late, and line 4 is always late, so let's make that twenty five._"

"Alrighty, we'll see you there, then."

"_Yeah. Cheers!_" She really shouldn't be reaping Allen's slang, is suited him better.

I turned front to the others again, stuffing the mobile and five grams plastic wrapped in my pocket. Brownie and the two clingy girls were yelling after some other guys at the other side of the park. "_Hey! Where the hell did Goat go? Screw your mom! You going down to the river? Wait up, you assholes! Goat, move your ass, we're going to the river!"_

I walked up to Kanda. "Should we go get your car first?"

Tube threw a wave and a "see ya later, kitty" over his shoulder, walking with the three others that were heading for the river. I waved back.

Kanda looked disgruntled. I could tell his felt out of place.

"I'll go get the car, we can't park at Hill's Store for more than thirty minutes. You go ahead to the Brothel's. Let's just meet up there."

I nodded, and we started walking out of the park. We were silent for a few seconds, until I spoke.

"So!" I said. "You don't have to worry about me telling Lenalee you were unfaithful with those two girls."

And to my joy he yelled back.

:x:

"Lenaleeeeee!"

I held the 'E' until I ran out of breath.

"Laviiiiiii!"

She could have held the 'I' for ten years more, because she is just awesome like that, but to the relief of the onlookers ended the wail there. We ran towards each other, arms wide open, giving a big 'fuck you' to the rest of the world that thought we looked like retards. Had this been a cartoon there would have been tears streaming down my cheeks and a big, pink background.

I ran up to her and hugged her and cried to her: "Yuu-chan called me a moron! Spank him for me!"

She patted my shoulder. "No, Lavi-kun. I never spank my children."

"Not even if he was being a meanie?"

"No."

"Not even if he did two girls at once?"

"No."

"Not even if he's hotter than the police permits?"

"Why are you so gay for him?"

I stiffened. _Oh my fucking god she knows!_

"Just kidding. You're late." She released me from her death-grip-of-a-mother hold, and smiled up at me.

I was so shocked I couldn't even speak. _So she doesn't know? _I begged to whatever higher ups controlled this wicked planet, please don't let her know. I laughed shakily and straightened myself, trying to control my tongue and say something.

"Hahahah… That's because the stupid Raven left me! I had to walk here all by myself. I walk slow when I'm bored, you know that, man." I blabbered as soon as the gift of speech returned to me.

"Oh really? I thought he'd come with you?"

"Well yeah. When you called we were at Mills Park, buying me some weed. Kanda's moving the car now, he should be here later."

"Uhuh. Did you get yourself some grass, then?"

"No, Lenalady, because ceci n'est pas une pipe. It's cones and _hash__ish_, which makes it a joint, not a pipe. Come again."

"You're too intelligent for you own good, mister," she giggled.

"I thought you loved my information-collecting-skills?"

"Yeah, on sales, not on weed."

"You know I'm a fucking space cowboy," I grinned. And of course we both knew I wasn't. I mostly only smoked at parties, and even though she was skeptical to begin with, she let it off. She was very surprised that Allen in fact took a drag with me every now and then. I was too. Apparently the Brit wasn't as much a gentleman as he let off. Or maybe it was because he didn't like the taste of alcohol, and smoking was his way of getting "funny" when the party was going to the max. Either way, the two of us never failed to spread the party mood, and he would be thankful when I told him I had a load ready for Friday. _Hell yeah, you will owe me __ninety__ freaking __kroner__, pokerface! _I thought with a vicious grin.

Lenalee rolled her shoulders. "Well if Kanda drove twenty minutes ago, he ought to be here soon. I'm freezing my feet off."

"That's because you're wearing summer shoes. Dude, wear boots, lady, it's February!"

"Say one bad thing about my shoes and I will spank you into oblivion, my child. My shoes are my babies."

"Okay, okay, I will forever respect your shoes." I amusedly held up my hands in surrender. She smiled, satisfied, and rolled her shoulders again. I couldn't help but notice. "Why are you rolling your shoulders? You have a headache?"

Her face got an annoyed expression and she replied: "No it's just this damn bra. The straps keep falling down my shoulders, it's driving me crazy! Help me out, will you?"

"I'll tighten it up a bit, just a minute," I said and took off my gloves. She turned her back to me and took off her scarf.

"Hurry, it's cold!" She whined. I began adjusting the strap without fumbling, because Lavi here _knows_ how those weird woman things work. Just as I was about to tighten bra strap number two, Kanda came striding nonchalantly down the sidewalk.

His voice was outraged and almost terrified when he said: "who the hell do you think you're groping!"

"Oh god, how sex frightened can you be?" Lenalee sighed as she tugged on her scarf again.

I looked at Kanda, just as outraged. "Ewww, did you just insinuate that I was _coming on to Lenalee_? Go get a life, man!"

"You are the one acting like a dick, here. First Tyki, now even Lenalee? I can _not_ believe you!"

Lena began walking towards Brothel Bracelet and laughed, "haha, is that guy still hunting you, Lavi?"

We walked beside her. I looked at her with a sad, betrayed expression. "It's not funny."

"Well if you don't want him, can I have him? I swear, he's so hot that-"

"DON'T even go there, Lena. My ears will fall off if you say any more," I stated.

"Both of you shut up. Jesus christ, go buy some jewels so we can scram."

Lenalee and I laughed at Kanda, and we all entered the shop, Lenalee already talking about what she wanted to buy for Miranda.

I still didn't dare to look directly at Mrs. Burly Woman.

**

* * *

3rd Jan 10 - Author's Rant:**

**Why is Kanda being so mean? Why doesn't Lena like beer? IS IT really a pipe? Why did The-fish92 take a month to upload this? Because she has been using a lot of energy this December avoiding Christmas. And if I never upload chapter five, it's because I committed suicide. Just thought I'd let you know beforehand, should that be the case.**

**[Long excuse made short here: this chapter is short but tomorrow ill be starting school and then I wont have time to write for a while so im uploading this now since its been bitch long time since I last updated]**

**DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT PRICES they differ. Just believe me when I say HE GOT IT CHEAP. And kids, remember that drugs are not good for you. Not just you, it affects your family and friends, too. BUT ITS STILL OKAY TO DRINK BEER :D**

**FANFICTIONNET: 91% gay, 8% crack, 1% hetro. I support all of it.**

**PLUGGING:**** Dhampir72: Bookman. Okay, you've probably already read it, since it's pretty much legendary xD but dang, I bet she's worked hard on that one. Dhampir72 has made a very thorough fic about how she imagines Lavi's past with Bookman might've been. It's well written, exiting, and will make you go "AWWWWWWWW" over child!Lavi. It's a fantastic adventure, I'm telling ya. And there's a lot of it, so it's many hours of reading for you! Enjoy~**

**Critique, as well as mindless babble, is always appreciated.**

**The famous painting **_**The Treachery of Images **_**(ceci n'est pas une pipe/this is not a pipe) is copyright René Magritte**

**EDIT:**** To those of you who read this chapter before January 26th: YES I changed from the American dollar currency to Danish kroner. 1 dollar equals 5.3 kroner or something**


	5. Five

**CHAPTER FIVE**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun, because sunlight shines on an entire galaxy.

:x:

"No no no, Lena chingsta'. Purple is totally not Miranda's color. She's definitely black."

"Tsk, Lavi you are such an incompetent fool. Purple is the new black, didn't you know?"

"Is this the Fashion Goddess speaking? Because if it is, give Lenalee back. And DON'T buy purple jewelry, for the sake of Kanda's Sense of Direction."

"Kanda's Sense of Direction?"

"Yes, Kanda's Sense of Direction."

"Hm. Clearly you have never seen Miranda in her purple skirt." And it was probably at that sentence that Lenalee won.

"LIKE, O MY GOD, SHE HAS A PURPLE SKIRT?"

:x:

"It will look great on her, believe you me," said Lenalee, pocketing her hands in her jacket, walking fast in order to reach the bus stop in time.

"…"

"I'm going to force her to wear the purple skirt on Friday anyway."

"…"

"If this bracelet wasn't for Miranda I'd totally wear it myself."

"…"

"What's wrong, Lavi? Cat take your tongue?"

"No, Fashion Goddess did."

"Well, she's giving it back now."

"…"

"Pleeeeease talk again, Lavi. Raven is being emo. I'm the only one saying anything. Geesh."

Kanda looked up from the ground and glared at Lena. "What the hell, woman? You made the shop assistant believe I was a GIRL. I will never forgive you!"

"But that necklace looked so good on you, Kanda! Even fellow Fashion Goddess Anita thought so!"

"Bullshit!"

I laughed out loud. Lenalee patted him on the arm and teased him. Kanda's curses got more and more imaginative by the second. Hear them out, you might get some good inspiration: "I will cut him open and place jalapeños in his kidney and sew him together very carefully, I will sell his mom to an Arabic harem for two camels, I will travel to the future and nuke his grandchildren, I will…!" He is a true artist with words sometimes.

We were currently walking to the bus stop. Lenalee was going to take line ten home now, and then call her brother later. Komui was almost never home at night, because he had night shifts at the lab, so she had to make supper herself, too. She is a master at the omelet, let me tell you that.

While the two of them talked (argued), I tried to concentrate on the sidewalk in front of me. Taking one step at the time. Holding the same pace as my two friends. Listening to the cars driving by us. Trying to magically force my shoulders all the way up to shield my ears from the cold. Walking fast, but somehow moving slow.

My stomach hurt.

It had been hurting for half an hour now, actually, since we entered the shop. Maybe I ate something bad? Or maybe I'd caught a virus. It was winter after all, everybody was sick this time of year. Which wasn't weird, really, especially not with the current temperature. It was so cold outside that not even the combined forces of Lady Gaga and The Beatles could make it hot.

I wasn't going to have any pancakes when I got home, that was for sure, I mused, trying to be inconspicuous when I hunched over at another stab of pain from my abdomen.

There was frost now and it was late afternoon. The sky was turning black, and only a few stray, long, orange rays of light decorated the few clouds to the west.

After a little moment we came to a halt, and Lenalee said: "Well, guys, this is my stop. The bus will be here iiin-" she glanced at the bus stop's route plan, "six minutes."

"M'kay. We will see you around, Lena-lovely." I hugged her goodbye.

"You guys get home safely. That goes for the booze too, of course." She smiled, giving Kanda's arm a squeeze.

He snorted and nodded. "Whatever. Later." But he said it with that super special 'brother voice' reserved for Lenalee only. It's a sort of I-care-about-you-but-there's-no-way-in-pissing-hell-I'd-show-you voice. Lena had _no _idea how lucky she was, I thought, with only the _slightest_ hint of genuine envy.

Lenalee was my best friend. Of course Yuu wasn't my best friend, he was just my lover-in-denial! And Allen was my 50% rival, 50% alien brother. But Lenalee, Lenalee was the one woman in the world that didn't give a fuck if I came over and rang her doorbell at twelve o'clock in the night. She would open up, sleep-drugged and not caring that she was only wearing panties and a T-shirt, and she would just let me in and make me sleep on her couch. She would make me do the dishes after breakfast the next morning, and then ride line 10 with me when she had to go to school, and wave goodbye when I got off at Station Square.

Lena could be a pain in the ass - ALL friends are pains in the ass sometimes – but the inevitable, divine fact is: if she walked through the desert, flowers would grow in her footsteps.

:x:

Kanda and I walked back in the direction we came from, towards the church where he had parked the car. It was completely dark now, and we had quite a way to walk. We didn't talk much, I was concentrating on ignoring my stomach, and he just generally appreciated the silence. When we did talk, it was either trivial chat, pointing fingers at funny-looking passers by, and me annoying him and his already abused masculinity.

But in fact, what we said right now held little importance to me. We were talking, that's what mattered. Because it was late evenings like these that put Kanda the Conversation-Retard in a calm mood. The special atmosphere that enchants you when you walk through the city on a cold February night, the lampposts and traffic lights showing you the way, a few tired looking people walking by now and then, unconcerned about the world, just trying to get home for dinner. The feeling of being one with your surroundings and somehow being free to do whatever you like. It's an atmosphere like this that could take Yuu out of his little, angry shell, and make him walk holding his head high, letting his senses absorb the world he lived in. I loved watching him like this. And I loved being with him these nights, being a part of his surroundings, being something he experienced. It just nagged at me how I couldn't join him in his tranquillized bubble. I could only watch from what seemed like afar.

I thought about the shock I'd gotten when Lenalee mentioned me being gay. My innards curled into tight knots just thinking about how much I was ready to backstab Kanda in order to regain my own honor. I would have been mean to him, asserting that I definitely didn't like him. I would have pushed him away, called him stuff, and gone home. Because it was so important that they didn't know. If they knew, they would… they would push _me _away. Kanda would push me away.

How could I possibly live without them?

And I was so mad because I was actually willing to tread on a friend in order to have it my way. I was disgusted with myself. So disgusted it made me sick to my stomach.

I gasped inaudibly, surprised by another wave of agony from my tummy. I got nauseous, and kept my gaze on the ground, blaming the tears in the corners of my eyes on the frosty wind. It was thankfully silent; I was glad Kanda didn't talk. Right now I really wanted to go home. I wanted to go to sleep. I just wanted to-

"There aren't many stars tonight."

I looked at Kanda.

_Huh?_

He was walking calmly, his head tilted so far back his beanie cap almost fell off. I followed his example, and looked to the sky.

It was so beautiful.

We both walked through the streets. Looking up, trying to move slow but somehow moving way too fast. I tried to look at Kanda out of my peripheral vision. I paid no attention to the concrete street beneath my feet, and almost tripped over a curbstone. He chortled when I yelped, and hearing him chortle made me chortle as well. I can't even begin to describe the bubbling happiness in my chest when we chuckled silently together, laughing at nothing in particular, really.

"Hey. Kanda," I then said.

"Mmh?" He answered.

"Do you know about black stars?"

I looked at him, and even though it was hard to see his face in the shadows cast by lamplight, I could tell his expression was vaguely puzzled. "No. What about them?" He asked me.

I smiled and looked forward. "They are the stars you can't see even though it's night. When you are all alone out in the country you can see a lot more, you know? That's because the black stars only show themselves when people are happy."

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow. He knew it was just because the bigger cities gave off so much light that smaller stars couldn't be seen. Nevertheless, he let me speak without interrupting.

"In the cities there are so many humans. There are a lot of happy people, but there are a lot of sad people, too. The black stars never show themselves in these places. But if you take the train west of town, and take a walk alone on the country roads, the black stars will show themselves to you. You just have to remember to concentrate on what makes you happy instead of what makes you sad. If you let go of what makes you sad, you will see all the black stars in the entire world." I was grinning behind my orange scarf as I turned to Kanda. I knew I sounded awfully lame. "The black stars are cautious beings."

He still had his eyebrow raised, and he didn't look convinced. But a smile he couldn't quite keep away was tugging at the corner of his lips, and he once again turned his head to look upwards.

"Freaking stars should just learn how to defend themselves. Maybe form an army or something. They could bombard this planet with meteorites in a matter of minutes."

I laughed. "Well, I guess they never thought that far. I'm just happy they stay put, actually."

"You're a horrible liar, you know that, right?" he looked at me challengingly.

"Whatever, Raven. Whatever. You just try saying that when black star Bobby Pimp knocks on your door."

"I'm amused," he stated with an air of humor, and he was still smiling. Seeing Yuu Kanda smile was pretty much giving me a heart attack. Of pleasure, that is. Can smiles incite orgasm? Because that's just what Yuu could do to me. And I had to remind myself to look away, because he'd be weirded out if he knew I was staring at him all the time. It's the magic of romance; completely forgetting the entire world, including yourself and the breadcrumbs on your face, when looking at the other. It's kind of like a spell, except he didn't cast it, I had just said some magic words backwards by accident and hit myself with the enchantment. The frightening enchantment called "you just fell in fucking love, tough luck."

I could've sworn I saw a gleaming star laughing at my expense in the distance. _Shut the fuck up, it's not something I chose, _I thought at it.

And I was happy and sad at the same time. Even though we walked so near each other our shoulders almost touched, we were never close.

He was as far away from me as the sun is from the earth.

:x:

We arrived at the church ten minutes later. I couldn't feel my toes, but the soft, cold breeze took the worst of my nausea. While Kanda unlocked the car doors, I hopped from foot to foot in order to get some blood circulation to my feet.

"Get in the car," he said, managing to keep from stammering despite his chattering teeth.

"Holy mother of all crap cakes, couldn't spring come earlier?" I whined, climbing into the car.

"No, spring hates you."

"No, Bobby Pimp just silenced Spring's cousin. Now Spring is in police custody as a main witness."

He humphed, settling in behind the wheel. "Man, I am going to have the most evil headache tonight," he mumbled.

"Why? You cold?" When it was cold, he tended to have really tense shoulders and neck all day and then get a headache in the evenings. It was his own fault for not wearing anything warmer, really. "Wanna borrow my scarf?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Seriously though, Yuu, isn't a scarf better than a headache?" I grabbed the orange article of clothing, ready to take it off.

"Seriously though, I don't need your scarf, rabbit."

"Why are you so stubborn? Doesn't, like, 50% of all your expenses go to painkillers already?"

He raised his voice: "Fuck, chillax! I'm not taking your scarf, man!"

I was so shocked I went dead silent. Kanda looked at me and then sighed deeply. Without a word he started the car and began driving. I looked straight ahead. I didn't say anything immediately, but mumbled after a short while:

"Okay, whatever."

And it was only a little funny how I almost said "tch".

_What's wrong with taking from me if I like to give to you?_

:x:

He drove south and set me off at my flat's front door. In all of the 6,766 days I'd lived, I had never been so tired walking up stairs and stepping over my threshold at only 9 o'clock in the evening. I cursed living on the fourth floor, and let myself into the apartment. The door was locked, so Suman probably wasn't home at the moment. As soon as I had locked the door behind me, I went to the bathroom to rummage through our messy toilette depots and look for some Panodils.

After I'd downed the pills with some water, I went to the messy living room and plunged down onto the old, red couch. I lay still for a little while, listening to the few cars in the distance and the clock in the kitchen ticking. It was quiet. Now that my legs were relaxing and I didn't have to force them to move or stand upright, they felt about as steady as warm marshmallows on a woolen thread. Which isn't very steady.

The digital numbers on the TV clock switched to 21:17, and I groaned deep in my throat. The painkillers did not help my queasy, complaining stomach yet, so I figured I should probably eat something, anything, to aid the pills on their "find the evil inside Lavi and destroy it" mission. Because that surely wasn't as easy as it might've sounded. My stomach aka Lavi's Super Sexy But Also Nonexistent Abs (and yes you have to say the whole thing when addressing it, preferably with "sir" in the beginning) wasn't the smallest in the entire world, after all. It wasn't the biggest either, mind you, and I daresay it would be damn perfect if not for the tiny, completely overlookable pillow on my lower abdomen. For your information it consists of, and I cite: 60% good beer, 21% bad beer, 9% omelet a la Lena, 5% waffles, 4% the gift card to the fitness center I never got to use and 1% high quality fat. Cite over.

As I pulled myself to the kitchen, my mind had somehow ended up on Yuu's stomach, and it was in a fit of painful, perverted chortles that I started unpacking a bag of frozen stew and put it on the pan.

Walking back into the living room took me four minutes, because when I walked I looked like a leprous monkey doing the drivers test in a wheelchair. Not very aesthetically pleasing. I had the feeling I was walking under water, some invisible force hindering my movement. It was a bit like being high, and sort of funny too, if not for the penetrating agony. I turned on my stereo and put on Pink Floyd with "Wish you were here", fumbling just a bit with the CD.

"Soooo, so you think you can tell – heaven from hell?" the vocalist Waters sang, and I nodded in agreement. The world stopped spinning when I sat down on the windowsill and leaned my head against the cool glass. My eyes absentmindedly followed the condensed water drops running down the pane, and there was something oddly calming in sitting still like this, listening to someone else sing out all the feelings I couldn't say out loud myself. Listening to music was my way of getting the insides out, because I didn't have to say shit myself. I just had to listen. And agree.

"How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year."

I got up and wanted to head for the kitchen to check up on my stew, but a funny sounding noise from the hall stopped me. I squinted my eyes, thinking that it was peculiar just _how_ much that sounded like my mobile_._ As I patted my jeans' pockets I realized that I had in fact left my mobile in my jacket. Which was in the hall. On the floor somewhere. When the noise erupted once more, I hurried to find it.

I almost paused when I read the caller ID, but decided it wasn't important and answered: "Hey."

There was a short moment of silence on the other end. Then Kanda finally spoke: "Hey."

I kind of wanted to say "'sup?" or "how's it crankin'?" or something like that, but I wanted him to speak first.

Finally he said: "You're the one who remembers everything."

I didn't even have the energy to wonder what the fuck he was talking about. "Correct."

"All the freaking bus times. And the weather report. And people's birthdays."

"If it's about line 1 it leaves seven thirty from your place tomorrow-"

"No, that's not it, man! Urgh…" He took a short breath, and then asked: "When does the pharmacy close?" much to my dulled surprise.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I tried once more, and cursed myself when the first word came out as an awkward croak. "It closed two hours and fifty minutes ago… Why do you ask?"

He cursed lowly, and then said with much displeasure: "I… Hm, I ran out of medicine." His voice sounded like he said it while trying not to say it, and I wished I'd been right there in front of him, so I could see his face.

"Oh."

_Real smart, Lavi. Fuck, that's intellectual! _I clenched my teeth and fists and hopped around without a sound, and I must've looked real precious.

He continued: "Yeah."

He wasn't saying much, but I still ran over to turn down the music just to hear his voice better.

"Well, I'm off. Night."

I didn't want him to hang up yet. "Um. Wait!" _Wait, I haven't said sorry! I haven't said "sweet dreams"! I haven't told you I miss you. I didn't say _"you can have some of mine!"

"?" He didn't even need to say a word to make it a question, and I KNEW he was raising an eyebrow.

"For real, man. Come have some Panodils, let's have a painkiller party," I smiled. It didn't take him more than twenty minutes to drive here, and I knew he'd do pretty much anything for pain relief when he had a headache. Which he had. Often.

"Don't worry about it, idiot. I'll buy some tomorrow," but I could decode his medic junkie mind through his voice, and decrypted that his soul was yielding. Had I been this good with tempting in Mills Park, they would've called me "medic duuuuuuuuude".

"Awwww, come on, Raven. You'll get so freaking cranky tomorrow if you have to deal with a headache the entire night." Persuasion time. "You know how Lena-lady starts complaining when you're excessively annoying. And then Al starts to bitch at you because you made Lena bitch, and then you bitch even more, because you have to listen to two people bitching at once, and then-"

"That's called blackmailing," and he definitely sounded I-have-a-headache-don't-come-near-me angry.

"No it's not," I snickered.

"Whatever, dork. Have the pills ready, because if I'm not having them in forty minutes, I will kill your roomie," and he was most likely serious, too.

"He's not home. Too bad."

"Then you bloody fucking well know _who _I will kill," and there is just noooo way he was serious about that. Totally.

"Yeah, my neighbour opposite, Mrs. Ilovemydog."

"And her monster miniature, Snotball."

"And her canary bird Pippins."

"Like I would actually care about a golf ball-sized, green bird enough to kill it. Doesn't she have any rabbits?"

I laughed, "Just get in your bloody car, princess."

"Shut the fuck up."

And before I knew it the very man who was the core of my frustrations and longing was heading my way. To have painkillers. And kill dogs. And the Panodil I ate earlier must've started working because I wasn't walking under water anymore, and when I turned up the volume on my stereo again, it was playing The Killers and "Mr. Brightside". My pained Sir Lavi's Super Sexy But Also Nonexistent Abs didn't hurt as much any longer.

My stew was burned into oblivion, though.

**

* * *

21th Jan 10 - Author's Rant:**

**Fic is now polished by the talented writer hands of Hearmelaugh, who has volunteered to be my beta. Since she also read through chapter 1 that has been edited as well (mostly grammar, you don't need to reread it if you were already this far). And now allow me to state this: Hearmelaugh is freaking amazing :D just sayin'**

**Darn, I just wrote 4000 words of UTTER SAP. I apologize, im sorta emo atm. I hope its not too "inactive" for you lovely guys :) Tell me if it's all horrible and OOC.**

**PLUGGING:**** The fic "three AM" written by Proof of Repair is something that makes me smile and frown and chortle and think of Kanda in pink hello-kitty-hoodies. Dangerous combination. But written with humor, insight and youtube. Her writing is remarkable.**

**Critique reviews appreciated.**


	6. Six

**CHAPTER SIX**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun, because then I wouldn't need that fucking gas cooker.

:x:

It still smelled like burned stew in my living room when Kanda knocked on the door, fifteen minutes later. I almost laughed out loud at how much the knock startled me, because I had been impatiently expecting it for what seemed like forever, already. I had even hidden away all the cigarette packs.

I was about to yell "Just a sec," while closing the kitchen window, but figured it wouldn't be necessary, as Kanda always let himself in anyway. And true enough, I heard him yell "idiot!" as soon as he stepped into my apartment. I wasn't in the best of moods, and for once, his harsh words annoyed me. He appeared in the kitchen door just as I had secured the windows.

"It smells like burned stew in here," he commented offhandedly. His voice was stoic as ever, but hearing it still made me sort of happy. And also very angry, for some reason. Seriously, I was in pain, I was tired, and I'd just ruined my own dinner. I almost stomped on the floor in irritation, because I would do anything for Kanda, I would donate him both my lungs. And Kanda yelled "Idiot!" first thing when stepping into my apartment.

"Well, yes, that's because I burned my stew. Derp," I replied somewhat tiredly. I was leaning on the counter. Amidst all the tired- and annoyed-ness, I was also very relieved that I had taken two painkillers half an hour ago. If I hadn't, I'd be vomiting all over my bathroom floor by now.

"Panodils," said Kanda.

"In the living room," said I.

Without another word he walked to the living room. From the way he slumped, I could tell he was just as tired as I was. I heard the characteristic sound of the tinfoil-ish package being torn twice, and he must've swallowed them right there, because he sure as hell didn't come in here to ask for a glass of water. I went into the living room as well, and saw him sitting on the couch, pressing his fingers to his temples.

I was about to say "Are you okay?". I was worried. It hurt to see him hurt. But it also hurt that seeing him hurt, hurt even more than physical hurt, which hurt a lot. Just thinking that sentence made my head hurt.

Thing is, I shouldn't let Kanda control me like this. I know I shouldn't. Some part of me wanted to embrace the love I had for the man, but this was a side of me I had to repress. My gramps would be so pissed at me. He had always taught me that feelings were a troublesome thing that most of the time just managed to get in the way of work. And I admired the old Bookman a lot. Somehow he was always right. He could explain things so I could understand them. He raised me, and made me strong.

I wanted to love Kanda, but I also wanted to not love him. This dilemma formed a whirlpool in my head, and pushing my emotions away, I said:

"You could say hello and thank you, y'know."

The fact that he didn't pissed me off to no end. Did a Kanda-bug bite me? Because I was feeling oddly bitchy this night.

"Hello and thank you not," was all he said, eyes still closed.

"You could stop being a jerk, y'know," my voice was still tired, and the unaccustomed words almost cut scratches in my tongue.

"You could stop being an idiot, _y'know_," he said, mocking my voice.

I raised my tone and attacked him with words. It was like holding a set of scales, and with every action I did, I wanted the "love" pan to lighten, and the "not love" pan to get weighed down. "You should give me more credit, I invite you over here so you can have your freaking medicine, so you could at least say thank you!" I willed him to yell back. Of course he yelled back.

"You're a fucking idiot, you wanted me to come over here and now you're just being a bitch, get over yourself! You can't even cook!"

"Excuse me but I'm tired and I have the bloody mother of all stomachaches, so shut up!"

"I know you have a stomachache, you've been clutching and grimacing all fucking evening! Buttfucker!"

"Asshole!"

"Fuck you!"

"Monkey!"

"Your mom!"

All frustrations were let loose, and we were so caught up in the other's profanities, that we both jumped when a loud thump was emitted from the wall.

_Thump, thump! "Be quiet in there! Silly youngsters!" _Mrs. Ilovemydog- no wait, Mrs. Hansen, yelled from behind the wall. Psycho bitch was noise-allergic, I swear. That's why Suman and I could never hold a party here.

Kanda wore a stupefied expression (that suited him, actually) and after a short pause I yelled: "Sorry Mrs. Hansen!"

And then all went silent. Like the eerie calm after an atomic bombing. The both of us stared dumbfounded at the wall for a good twenty three seconds.

And then I doubled over laughing. Which hurt a lot, but I just couldn't stop. Putting love on a scale? That's just crap.

"Tch, whatever." Yuu crossed his arms, but it was okay, because he wasn't mad, I could tell. "I really _should _kill her dog, shouldn't I?"

I wheezed, at this point I was sprawled on the floor, grinning up at the ceiling. From this angle, with my head upside down, Yuu looked comical, and I noticed he had a hole in his red and green striped socks. I only barely refrained from pointing it out to him. Then, out of the blue, I said: "Shit, I'm hungry." And then I laughed again. Must've been bitten by a Lavi-bug, or something.

Kanda stood and said matter-of-factly: "Of course, if you burnt your fucking stew. Are you so much of an idiot that I have to help you make dinner?" He sounded incredulous, but hey, he did ask, didn't he?

I nodded, and convincingly looked like an idiot.

"Yes, you hafta' help me. Raven sensei."

He tch'ed and stepped over me, heading for the kitchen. I slowly got up from the floor, giggling horribly because Yuu was wearing tight pants and stepping over me just gave me a nice view. When I entered the kitchen, he was shuffling through the cabinet with pots and pans, and I pretended that I was giggling because the world was just generally amusing like that. Which it sort of was. Especially when boys are wearing tight pants.

Yuu winced at the high, clanking noises the pans made, and I leaned heavily on the kitchen counter, trying to breathe normally; we actually looked quite pathetic, the both of us. When he resolutely put a deep pan on the stove, I sighed heavily and said:

"I'm so happy we can share our pain, Yuu."

He just grunted, probably tired from our earlier yelling-contest. Or maybe he had just used all his barks up, and now he could only grunt. And cook. And say 'tch'. But of course he had unlimited 'tch's, no doubt about that.

"You have any more of that stew shit?"

I nodded, and pulled yet another plastic bag forth from the deep recesses of the somewhat smelly fridge. He gave it a disdainful look.

"And you call that food? Stupid rabbit. Learn to cook, already. Find some onions and chop them." And then he added for good measure: "I hate you."

But Kanda's actions have always counted more than his words, and right now he was pulling forth pasta and tomato purée. How he knew which drawer they were in thoroughly amazed me, since I had trouble navigating around in this kitchen myself. Anyway, he was actually helping me by making dinner. I did as I was told, not daring to do anything else, really. As I punished onions and garlic with a dubiously clean knife, he started boiling water with salt, and it was nice (and a little amusing) how he didn't talk or explain, he just _did_. Like he always just _did _things that seemed right in his mind. And how he despised things he deemed _not right._ Like for example alternate sexual beliefs. Sadly.

:x:

"Yuu."

"Yeah?"

"It's decided. We're officially awesome."

"Officially?"

"Yup. I've written to the newspapers. It should be out tomorrow." I struck the Superman-pose for added dramatic effect. "_Yuu and his loverboy Lavi create fantastic three-course gala dinner!"_

"Shut the fuck up." And after a thoughtful pause, me still in Superman-pose: "Three-course?"

"U-huh. Water, pasta, stew. Voila." Could my grin have been any bigger? I don't think so.

So we used the next fifteen minutes to eat our delicious creation, and I almost cried because it felt like I was eating _my baby _(I don't cook much, you see) and Yuu just grunted and went home after he'd helped me with the dishes. And even though I had just eaten, I felt oddly relieved and empty. I dunno', maybe I ate too many painkillers, or maybe the "frustration outlet" was just very much needed. I was about to go to my bedroom to turn in for the night, but was so tired I actually never got up from my sofa.

And that's where I fell asleep that night. And I might have been an idiot, but I was a content idiot, with a crush on a fucktard, a stomach full of pasta, and a burn mark on my finger, caused by the evil that is a hot pan.

The last I smelled was the scent of used kitchen, the last I heard was a car speeding in the distance, and the last I saw before I closed my eyes and drifted off, were the thousand shining diamonds in the sky outside my window.

**

* * *

20th Feb**** 10 - Author's Rant****:**

**Short chapter. What's up with that? Writer's block is up with that. It's over now though, I'll work hard on chp 7. And please forgive Lavi for being bitchy, we're all bitchy every once in a while.**

**Plugging:**** I have completely, utterly, fuckingly fallen in love with Smokingace's fics. Her writing. It's just. GO READ IT. She has some extremely amusing and sexy AIM chats lying around, and her LaviYuu stuff is really good. Other than LaviYuu, I will especially recommend "Kodo", "Principle of Accountability" and "Via Dolorosa".**


	7. Seven

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun, because then I wouldn't have to go cold turkey.

:x:

It was Friday, it was five thirty, and I was late. How can Lavi McAwesome, Esquire, be late, you ask? Well, he got a very (_very,_ I say) sudden call from Mister B. ("B" is for Bookman, because saying "Bookman" sounds, you know, _über lame. _So I'll call him Mister B.) (He'd kill me for it.)

Anyway, he called. Yeah. And he had a lot of work for me. The stupid old wannabe tutor, failing at being a grandpa. I had been drop dead sick the entire week, so unexpectedly I had _tons _of workloads - homework as well as research for Mister B - Friday morning. Deadline at five o'clock. Sharp. How agitating. But I just managed! Never let it get your spirit down! Persevere! Live life to the fullest! Don't sleep in class! Put on mismatching socks!

It didn't matter that I ran almost all the way from the bus stop to the hut, I was still half an hour late. I gasped in the fresh evening air when I finally arrived at my destination. A scouts' hut, rented out for gatherings on weekends. It was no bigger than 350 square meters, with sleeping accommodation for about thirty people. It was surrounded by trees and located near some neighborhood. Nearest gas station was fifteen minutes away by foot, if that sets some standard for you.

It does for me.

… Shut up, gas stations are good standards.

Lenalee and Miranda had rented it about three months ago, and it was perfect for this party. Not too big, not too small, great for housing sixty wild, young, sweating people, none of them minding cramped rooms filled with loud music. Oh boy, how I'd been looking forward to this night.

I supposed nobody but Lenalee, Miranda, Komui, Noise and I was here yet. We'd promised to help set up everything. How we were going to get Komui to leave later was an issue that worried me, but hopefully we'd come up with an excuse. His lab was burning or something. Lenalee was getting good at making up excuses like that by now.

(Lenalee bursts into the room, tears in her eyes: "Brother! Our cat has run away!"

Komui stands up and yells: "Oh no! The cat! Fear not, I shall fetch it right away!" after which he dashes off.

So the rest of us looks to Lena and ask: "You don't own a cat, do you?"

And she shakes her head and says: "Nope.")

(To give an example…)

I was not bothered by the noise from the other side of the front door, as these guys were bound to be noisy anyway. It was not till I heard a familiar voice cry out in agony, that I got untimely alarmed.

Alas, it was too late. My hand was on the doorknob, ready to enter, as the familiar voice decided to come flying out said door.

"Oof, harah!" was my highly macho cry, as the door burst open and a tied up Komui violently rammed into me. Damn my slow reflexes.

"Ai ya! Nooooo! I cannot leave my dear Lenalee's side! Not on this terrible evening, where monsters, maniacs and _men _will fill up this house! I have to stay and protect her from those _animals!_"

I actually took great offense…

Wait, why was he tied up again?

I pushed him off me and asked: "Um, Komui, dude. Why are you tied up with… duct tape and hemp rope?" And was that a tight jacket underneath it all?

I needed no answer, though, when a tall, dark, red haired figure showed itself in the doorway. The broken door rocked back and forth, the squeaky noise adding dramatic but annoying effect. The dark and (not so) mysterious figure opened its mouth and spoke, whilst skillfully keeping the cigarette between the lips.

"I'll pay for the broken hinges."

Tadah. Mister Cross himself. Nobody ever knows when this guy shows up. Or when he leaves again. I just really hoped he wouldn't be staying for the party.

I gathered myself. "Cross! My good man! What are you doing here?" I smiled jovially while hastily rising and dusting myself off.

He looked at me skeptically. Komui lay sprawling on the ground, unable to stand up with his arms tightly secured by rope and… hopefully _not_ a tight jacket. None of us helped him up, I was busy thinking of something that would make Cross go away, and Cross was busy being, well, Cross. Which was apparently a perfect excuse for acting as an ass. Feh.

Then Cross spoke up: "That's _general _to _you_, snotty brat. And what's up with those neon green shoes? Get your fucking colors together, little loser."

Way to belittle someone. What's wrong with neon green shoes? I rather liked neon green shoes!

Suddenly Lenalee came running out from behind the general.

"Brother!" She yelled.

Oh right, Komui. What was really going on, anyway?

She fell to her knees besides the wrapped up Chinese: "brother, please don't worry about me. You go have fun in Berlin, and try not to call me every fifth minute-"

"But, but, but, Lenaleee-! I don't wanna' leeeave, lemme' staay!"

"No! You and the science club gathering are going to have a great time in Germany! I packed your toothbrush and your clothes. I even packed your favorite pajamas, and-"

Cross and I stood watching the two while Lena tried to calm Komui's nerve.

I looked to Cross. "Is that a tight jacket?"

"It is."

Where the fuck did this guy get that stuff?

I looked back to the two siblings. Even if a young girl hunching over a grown man crying in a tight jacket is hellish creepy, these guys were sort of cute.

Until Komui cried "don't get pregnant" and Lenalee punched him in the stomach.

A few minutes later had Cross shoving Komui into his BMW and driving off to the border of Germany, while Lena and I stood waving.

"There is no science club gathering, is there?"

Lenalee smiled, "nope!"

:x:

The dining room was decorated and not looking very natural or scout-ish in pink, purple and white colors. Festoons, paper chains, plastic stars, suspicious glitter glitz and the like were thrown all over. You'd think the Sugar Plum Fairy bombed the place. (If I could be allowed to call Lenalee the Sugar Plum Fairy for a minute, then maybe she did. Probably.)

"Actually, why are you late, Lavi? You should've been here when me and Miranda blew off that glitzy bombshell! It was so cool, there were sparkles all over the place!"

"I can tell," I chortled lowly, looking around. "Anyway, I was late because I had work."

"On a Friday?"

"I'm sorry Lena, I've had the cold the entire week. I've been blowing my nose so hard my eyes almost came outta' their sockets."

"Aw." She threw me some napkins, and we started setting the tables. "Hey, Ruby."

"What?"

"Your jacket. It's ruby red. It really suits you!"

"Oh thanks. I borrowed it from Suman." Shhh, Suman knows naught of this.

"Awesome. And I totally dig your shoes, by the way. So did you hear from Kanda?"

Okay, now I feel good again.

"Yup, he'll be here at seven, bringing the liquor."

"Great. Oh, and Al is here, too. I think he's hiding in the kitchen right now."

"… Because…?"

"He's afraid Cross'll find him and drag him to Berlin."

"Pfff," I smiled, and Lenalee laughed brightly.

:x:

"Miranda, you look beuuutifuuuuuul~!"

Bow down to my super effective wooer-ing! Miranda blushed like never before! Okay maybe not, as she probably has the, what, "Guinness blushing record" or something. But she blushed. And she's a lot of fun as soon as you get over the 'I hate myself and want to die drinking' part.

Lenalee swatted my shoulder: "Shoo, Ruby. Now, comment her skirt. Comment it. Now. Comment."

"OH MY GOD MI MIRANDA YOU LOOK GORGEUS SEXY IN THAT PURPLE SKIRT."

Miranda blushed. Again.

Lenalee nodded: "Accepted. And _now _go comment on what I put on Al."

We all three ran to the kitchen where Allen was eating the sausages.

"OH MY GOD AL YOU LOOK GORGEUS SEXY IN THAT……… yellow T-shirt and pink bowtie? Uh. That's…"

I was about to say _'gay'_, but one must of course restraint oneself in situations like this.

"…gay."

Yeah whatever.

Allen didn't blush. He hardly ever blushed, which was kind of a shame. He shot me razor eyes that witnessed of death and torture, though. He's charming.

"Wallah, I'm serious. You look great, Al." I held up my hands. "And dude, put the hotdog down."

Well, he at least managed to look a teensy bit bashful.

But that was it. "Oh, shut it, bloke. You shouldn't talk with them neon green shoes you are sporting!"

Okay what _was it _with people and my green shoes?

Lenalee wrestled the hotdog from Allen's Grip Of Death and sent him to work on setting up the speakers with Noise's help. I stayed in the kitchen with the ladies, helping the best I could making a big mountain of toasted bread, and a humongous mountain of sausages. Plus ketchup. Never forget the ketchup.

I was just about to show a tittering Miranda how to make a smiley with ketchup on a paper plate when my mobile started ringing:

_Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh—_

"Eh?" Said Lenalee.

_eh-eeh-eeeeh stop telephoning meh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-ehh-eeh I'm buseh-eh-eh-eh-eh-_

Oh, how I love that ringtone. I excused myself and walked out to the hallway.

Not bothering to check the ID I pressed the green button and said happily: "You're talking to Lavi!"

"_Marhaba, Lavi,"_ replied Bookman with a dry voice through the phone. For your much needed info, that's "hello, Lavi, I am cranky and it is probably your fault" in Arabic. I was about to wail "aaaaw, not now!" but had way too much respect for him to do that. So I restricted myself to just slumping my shoulders.

"Oh, hey Mister B."

"_Mister B?"_

"Uh. Sorry. Shoo beddak?" What do you want?

"_The files. Did you send them?"_

"Aiwa, I did. To your e-mail."

"_Shoo?"_

"Your hotmail."

"_Tayib. Shukran."_ Okay. Thanks.

"Mafi mushkila. I'll send the rest on Monday." No problem.

"_You better. Good evening."_ … What a grumpy panda.

When I first started talking Arabic and Hebrew with him in the weekends, it was hard to get rid of the habit the rest of next week. You know how _your _language is the language you think in? Yeah, whenever I was with Mister B (which was a rare occurrence lately) I started thinking in Arabic. And Arabic slang is strangely addictive, so my friends could usually tell when I'd had a working weekend with the old guy. I tried not to think too much about it and walked back into the kitchen.

"Hola señoritas, Lavi is back," I said. But as soon as I had opened the kitchen door, I was hit by the peculiar smell of burnt… _something_. "Sniff, sniff. It wasn't me."

Lenalee looked at me and tried not to smile. "Hey Lavi," she said. "Miranda kind of… burned the sausages. Again."

She stood in a corner patting Miranda's back, while Miranda kept going on and on about how sorry she was, and Lenalee tried the best she could to keep the kitchen knives out of range. Well, this situation called for some Lavi McAwesome-ness.

"Fear not, ladies!" My voice was thunder and lightning and I pulled forth my mobile that was for some reason always covered in lady bug stickers. "Lavi will save the day. By calling Kanda-kun and telling _him_ to save the day!"

They looked at me with hopeful eyes. Got a situation? Call 112 _right _after you've called Yuu.

Luckily Kanda actually picked up his phone.

"YUU!"

"_What."_

"BRING THE SAUSAGE!"

Okay, one day, _one day, _I will willingly admit that my straightforward sentence was inappropriate. Improper even. But not today. I would let Kanda misunderstand my 100 % pure hearted chivalrous intentions, and _enjoy it_.

CLICK. _Beeb, beeb, beeb…_

So much for that conversation.

So I called him once more. No answer.

"Hey, Lena, could I leave the two of you on kitchen duties? Just while I go try convince Kanda to stop by the groceries on his way over here?"

"Yes, good thinking, Ruby. Make sure to convince him!"

"Yeslamo habibtiiiii." Thank you darling! "That I shall do! Vigorously!"

So I walked out to the hall again, hearing Lenalee say "did Bookman stay at his apartment this weekend again?" as I closed the door behind me.

Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, dial the love of your life's number, deep breath, wait for it…

No answer.

Once again, deep breath, dial, wait, breath, wait, wait breathe, ohmygodanswernowplease.

No answer.

I hadn't been too rude, had I? Had I?

It took me yet another three calls to get to Kanda, but at last he picked up.

"_NO SAUSAGE!"_

I laughed. He hung up. It was his own fault for being so cute, goddammit! So I called him again.

"_I said NO SAUSAGE, stupid rabbit!"_

"I heard you please don't kill me or hang up!" Reflexes Of Lightning.

"… _What are you saying, shitbag?"_

"What I'm saying is…" I had to phrase this very cleverly "Lenalee would like you to kindly stop by the groceries on your way here and buy a bundle of cheap meat in intestine casing. Please." Luckily I am one clever guy.

"_... as in "buy some fucking sausages"?_"

Christ, I'd been hearing that word too much, now.

"Yes. Also, dear Raven-san, when are you going to be here?"

"_At seven. Probably."_

"Well, yalla! Miranda is going to strangle herself. Or something."

"_What the flying fuck does that have to do with what time I arrive?"_

"Because you'll be bringing the sausage!"

"_Again, what the fuck does that have to do with Miranda? Does she want sausage!" _Oh god the implications.

"Yes she wants sa—No wait she doesn't! It's because she burned them up!"

"_She burned somebody's freaking sausage!"_

"Yes she—Not like that! Fuck!"

Kanda you asswipe, you jerk, you! How can you thwart my Talent Of Speech!

It was in this storm of sausages that I suddenly heard a rumbling noise from the entrance hall. A loud bang, and then somebody wailing. I yelped and started violently, almost dropping my lady bug clad mobile on the floor. I was silent for some seconds, listening to the whining from the entrance hall.

I couldn't help but be nervous. What if it was someone scary? The guests weren't supposed to arrive yet, and it wasn't Yuu, he was on the phone. The front door was still open, broken because Cross sent Komui flying. Anybody could enter. I gulped.

_"__Hello? Lavi? Oi."_

"Shhhhhh!" I shrieked (very man-like) into the mobile.

_"…"_

I was so tense I could hear my own heart beating. My eyes were locked steadfast on the closed door that separated me and whatever was in that entrance hall. Somebody, please, build me a fortress!

A long, sad yowl erupted from behind it.

"OOOooooOOOOoOOOooooOOOOoooohhh…"

Gasp! I clutched the phone like was it a lifeline. "Yuu…" I whispered into it.

"_What, dammit?"_ he growled furiously in a low voice.

My voice was even lower when I spoke: "I think it's going to…"

That's all I managed to say before the doorknob little by little started to turn, and my gradually abused heart figuratively speaking leapt into my throat. Slowly but surely the door opened, and some idiot must've turned the lights off out there because no illumination came from the chink.

My palms started to sweat.

A sickly pale and glitter-covered hand appeared, clutching the door frame.

"OOOooOOOoooooOOooOOOOooouuch…"

My hands were slippery and shaking so bad. I had trouble holding onto the mobile while speaking into it: "K-K-K-K-Kanda, it-"

Abruptly the hand was followed by an arm, a shoulder, a torso, and a head covered in so much glitz and festoon that it didn't look human. The creature awkwardly swayed back and forth, moving its hands in front of it. There was no doubt in my mind:

"IT'S A VAMPIREEE!"

**

* * *

28th Apr 10 - Author's Rant:**

**H'omg I'm glad I don't get paid to do this. IT'S A VAIR VAIR LATE CHAPTER, YES. I HAVE NO EXCUSE :D also, beta is busy, needed this up in a hurry, so if you spot mistakes, sorry ;)**

**112 is the Danish "Emergency Number" (y'know, like 911)**

**I've begun carrying around Little Red Notebook again. To get started, I also read chapter 1 to 6 through. And… wtf is up with Lavi's homo angst. Being gay isn't that big of a deal in Denmark youth culture, you should know. At least not in the culture I hang out with. My classmates don't care much about me being bisexual. So pull yourself together, Ruby. Seriously.**

**(……….. hokay his crush hates homos, that **_**might **_**be angsting-material …)**

**Dictionary:**

**Aiwa: Arabic, **_**yes  
**_**Shoo: Arabic, **_**what**_**  
Harah: Hebrew, **_**shit**_**  
Ai ya: Chinese, **_**whoa!**_**  
Yalla: Arabic, **_**hurry up**_

**Plugging:**** O MAI GOD'S GOD! MORPHINE DEMENTIA! :DDDD b'cus srsleh, Kanda being mentally insane is what ALL FANGIRLS AND BOYS want to see. You know you do. The plot is exiting, interpretation of Lavi and Kanda are varied and great, writing is flowing and… sometimes creating disturbing pictures in my head. But I think that's supposed to be! So read her "Sea of Sorrow" and enjoy!**

**Pictures:**** Want to see what Lavi's city looks like? Here are some photos on my blog: _http: //fishsometimesfly. blogspot. com/2010/04/arhus-city. html _**[remove spaces]

**Pssst..:**** You are also obliged to participate in the LaviYu festival this June/July/August! Check out the gaylorious HQ here: **_**www. thelaviyufesthq. livejournal. com **_[remove spaces] **All are invited :D yeah, even **_**you, **_**you sore loser :D *points***

/end rant plz

**THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS!**

**Qritique (as well as mindless babble) reviews always appreciated.**


	8. Eight

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun, because the sun sparkles!

:x:

You know those moments when you feel like your life is moving in slow motion? Those moments where karma goes, like, '_okay this is a terrible moment for you. Let's _prolong_ it'._ You know, _those_? Yeah, I was having that moment now. Seconds stretched out, and I could only watch in helplessness as my mobile – which I had thrown in a split second of immense shock - sailed through the air, flying towards its fate on the hard floor. I almost fell backwards as I yelled once again:

"IT'S SERIOUSLY A VAMPIRE!"

The mega scary and completely glitzy-fied vampire in front of me started and cried:

"Oh my god a vampire? Where, _where!_"

And that's probably the moment I went "d'uh" and time returned to its normal pace. I winced as I heard my beloved mobile phone crash and _die_.

Then all the guys came rushing in.

"What the bloody hell!" yelled Allen. Then he stopped abruptly at the sight of Glitzy Mister Vampire. "What the bloody… hell."

Just my words, British ally. Just my words.

Lenalee who was the bravest of us all neared the thing cautiously, leaving Al, Noise, Miranda and me trembling in the background. Except Noise who wasn't really trembling, just wearing an overall whatisthisfuckery expression on his face. Then again, he couldn't truly see the creepiness that was Glitzy Mister Vampire. (Yeah, Noise Marie had a hard time seeing _anything_. Firework is dangerous stuff, he learned the hard way.)

(Don't ever go back to a dud, kids!)

"Uhm…" was Lena's tentative inquiry.

"Oooh…" was its reply.

"What the bloody…" was Al's much unneeded repeat.

"Poke it," was my attempt at being practical. Hey, I'm a practical guy.

"Oh my god _you _poke it!" she exclaimed, indignant.

And having gotten over my initial shock, and also feeling malicious and vengeful over the loss of my dear ladybird-clad mobile, I thought: Come on, Lavi. You can do it. Use the force.

I ran up to the vampire and poked him _right _in the stomach. Ka-pow!

"Ow! Son of a bitch!" Huh, I would've honestly thought that vampires didn't curse that much.

I was so confused. I said: "I- I'm sorry," being surprised even as the flustered words left my mouth. The Glitzy Mister Something shook, making glitter fly everywhere. Somewhere in my extremely practical mind a little Bookman voice said "Hey, vampires don't exist." My little Lavi voice said "Shut up," but then the little Bookman voice beat up the little Lavi voice, and I had to admit that a vampire would be awfully unusual.

As more and more glitter fell from Glitzy's corpus, a human form and face appeared. It seemed to be a middle-aged man with black, brushed back hair. He was pale with sunken eyes, a pointy nose and no eyebrows. A bit like Michael Jackson, a skin disease and twenty-two operations later. Yep, an overall super creepy guy.

Not a vampire though.

Phew.

"Hello," he said, and the bizarre situation made the casual greeting seem even more bizarre. The silence echoed in the hall. He tried again: "I'm your bartender."

You could practically hear the little light bulb go _pling! _in Lena's head, and she laughed.

"Oh now I know! Alistair, right?" She clapped her hands and looked thrilled. You'd be scared at how quickly she went from "yikes!" to "yay!" but I guess that's what comes with being female. Or Yuu.

Glitz- er, I mean, Alistair nodded courteously and gave a small smile that failed at making him look any less creepy.

So anyway, the vampire mystery was solved. Yet another victory for Sherlock. Seems he had strayed into the dark entrance hall, and fallen because of the lack of light. Luckily he'd landed on some soft sacks that were lying on the floor. Unluckily the sacks were filled with Lenalee's artillery, aka twinkle and garland stuff. After Lenalee had introduced the rest, she started ordering people around again. Everybody went back to their previous tasks, and the glitzy baron, Alistair, began to set up the bar.

As the others scattered about I stayed behind in the hall. Somewhere in heaven a little fat angel was playing sad violin as I kneeled before my broken mobile.

"Rest in peace, buddy." Sniff. Should I bury it?

Being heartbroken over a really old and shabby mobile phone on which the 5-button hadn't worked might seem silly, but it was on that mobile – and _that mobile only_ – that I had received my first text from Yuu. In fact, it had been the first text Yuu had ever sent! (In Denmark anyway!) And I had saved it always because I was so flattered! I know you're burning with curiosity now!

Should I tell you? Should I tell you what Yuu wrote to me _the first time ever?_ Alright, I'll tell you.

He wrote: _"Fuck you I will kill you and your family."_

Now don't'cha try'n tell me that guy ain't predictable. He sent it to me in social studies class, way back in our freshman year. And then the teacher, M. C. Leverrier, who is quite undoubtedly the mother of all douchebags, took my mobile, read the text aloud to the class, and kept it for the rest of the week.

But now the text was gone. Forever.

I gathered the broken pieces in my hand. Oh well. I needed a new mobile anyhow. That missing 5-button had proven really annoying, because when I wrote it always ended up as something like: "_Hey man, ust taed to Aen, et's go to enaee's pace in the weeend, ay?"_ Not cool. Note cool, dude. Why does everybody's name have Ls anyway?

Apropos Yuu, maybe I should call him? I'd been screaming death and murder the last few seconds before the connection broke. It might be wishful thinking, but perhaps Kanda was worried right now. Or he was going "fu fu fu fu…", I don't know. But I should call him. Yeah. Maybe I could borrow Lena's? I myself would probably have second thoughts on lending my mobile to a person who just carelessly crashed his own, but Lenalee is just that sort of trusting and good-hearted person.

And a bit naïve. Just a bit.

"Lenalee!" I half yelled, half wailed. And then I practically bumped into her in my haste at the doorway to the dining room. "Umf!"

Lenalee _umf_'ed too, but quickly straightened up. She looked first at my face, then her eyes widened at the sight of the mobile-corpse in my cupped hands. Then she looked up at my face again. She was holding her mobile two inches from hear ear, and it became clear why, as an obnoxious voice yelled from the other end.

"…. _You_ talk to him," she grumped and practically shoved her mobile into my chest.

I fumbled shortly, but managed to not drop it. I held the phone up to my ear.

"Yuu?"

"_Fuck you, Lavi. Fuck you!"_

"Dude I swear it wasn't my fau-!"

"_Fuck you just fucking screaming and then hanging up! What the hell happened, you were screaming like a damn bitch! You better be fucking _dying _right now!"_

"No, my mobile broke! It's in pieces, seriously!"

So Yuu and I kept yelling at each other while Lena was helping Alistair attach the shelves on the mobile mini bar, and Al and Noise were running a sound check on the speakers. We ended up having a diss fight.

"_Fuck you, Lavi, and fuck your retarded mobile."_

"Fuck you, Kanda. Just… fuck you so hard your mom will be shocked."

"_Che. Fuck you so hard you'll regret being so fucking gay."_

"Well fuck you so hard it's illegal."

Is it bad that this was totally turning me on?

"_Fuck you and may you die a slow and painful death, I hope you get raped by a thousand unicorns in hell till you bleed freaking rainbows__."_

"Then I hope that… Your mom."

"_Pfft."_

"Ha ha. Okay, I give up. Bastard."

"_Whatever, rabbit." _Oh, I love this guy. No, I really do. _"Come outside. Now."_

"Why?"

"_Because you are to help me drag all this freaking alcohol into the freaking hut."_

"Dude, you're already here? But it's only six fifteen."

"… _Fuck you. Get your ass out here."_

He hung up, and I laughed. I skipped over to Lenalee and handed her the mobile. "Thanks. Yuu's here, I'll go help him."

"Sure," she pursed up her lips, still not taking her eyes off the pile of dead technology in my hand while putting her own mobile in her pocket. "Thanks for bringing it back alive," she said and smiled jokingly at me.

"Yes. My mobile. I dropped it." I made it _fly_. "C'est la vie. Anyhow, make way for the drinks, they'll be here in a sec," and I ran to help Yuu.

:x:

_I said ooh, I know you're gonna try to hang tough. But oohh, you shouldn't hesitate-_

The music was loud, and the song wasn't really that good, but damn, my head was filled with Bacardi so shit didn't matter, and the party was finally getting started!

_I said oohh, come on baby turn the lights off. Oooh oohh, cuz' it's getting late!_

Everybody was in motion, some more than others. Alistair had given me a beer on the house because I was better at moon walking than him. Lenalee was showing everybody her groovy moves, and more than one boy had set their ambitious eyes on her.

I mumbled the lyrics, my trophy beer in hand, while walking from the dining room to the hall. Time to find the culprit and begin operation "H". "H" for Hallelujah, if that sounds convincing.

"Ey, Al! Brit! Pokerface! Move your ass, man, don't just eat!" I turned a corner, reached the kitchen and leaned on the door frame. How come you could always find this guy at the food supply, raping the cuisine?

"I'm not, I'm talking to Johnny," he said, and true enough, beside him stood our dear Johnny. Al was still wearing the pink bow tie, and it was _solely _for Lenalee, and _only _because it was her birthday. Johnny looked tired; lately he always had bags under his eyes. Which made it obligatory that he had a fun time tonight!

"Heeeey, Johnny!" I swung my arms in the air, and tried to not sound as tipsy as I was. "Yo, Lena, come over here, Johnny's entered the building!" I yelled into the dining room.

Lenalee and Miranda came running. Lena almost fell in her high heels on her way across the dance floor, and she was giggling like mad. "Oh Johnny, I'm so glad you could make it!" she exclaimed and gave him a hug.

"Hey girls. Sorry I'm late," he handed them each a little purple box wrapped up nicely. "This is from both Tapp and me," he smiled.

I watched as Lenalee and Miranda thanked him and opened their presents immediately. Miranda was already wearing Lenalee's gift, the bracelet. She really _did _look beautiful. Her hair was usually up, but tonight it had been curled and backcombed, it kind of looked like Marilyn Monroe's hair, just a bit wilder and untamed. If it wasn't because I had a crush already, I'd totally try my luck with her. And I wouldn't have been the only one. Several men had already feebly tried talking to her, which resulted in her either running to Noise or Lenalee for cover. Lena enjoyed the attention she got.

From the presents were pulled two beautiful hair bandeaus. Lenalee's was a thick ribbon with bows as ornaments. Miranda's was a thin ribbon-wrapped hairband with feathers. I had no idea Tapp and Johnny had such good taste, actually.

Lenalee obviously loved it, and she put it on right away. She thanked him exuberantly and kissed his cheek. Miranda stammered, and it was funny how she got more and more beautiful the more presents she got. Allen and I sang our praises, until Lenalee realized that – whoa! – Johnny hadn't had a drink yet! So we all ran to Baron's bar, Lenalee yelled "This one's on me!" and she has probably wanted to say that since 1995. By now, the only sober people in this room were probably Glitzy, Allen and Kanda. Even Noise Marie (who was now DJ NOISE, wooh!) had had his share of Cuba Exotics, and was most likely no good as a bouncer anymore. Kanda was in a corner playing Bloody Knuckles with Daisya and some other dude. Bloody Knuckles is that macho-game where one guy poises his knuckles flat on a table, and another guy flicks a coin with all his strength towards them. Your knuckles will bleed like crazy in the end. Just a game for Kanda, yeah. Anyway, he wasn't even _near_ tipsy. The goal of Lavi's Super Sexy But Also Nonexistent Abs for tonight was to get him just drunk enough to dance. That's a true challenge right there, let me tell you!

In the corner at the homemade DJ stand with a laptop and wires and CDs and stuff DJ Noise did his thing, and an electronic sound with a steady beat seized power over the big speakers.

_Skub, skub, skub til taget! La' mig se hvor godt du ka' skub' til taget!_

_Finally _a good song!

"Yeah! Push, push, push the roof!" Might as well try my luck right away!

I scooted my way over to Yuu. The music was freaking loud, I couldn't distinguish between the bass and my heartbeat anymore. I wanted to take a sip of my drink, but for some very mysterious reason my cup was empty. It was put on a table and quickly forgotten. I licked my dry lips, and now I was only one meter behind Kanda.

_Og de skubber til taget for at staa ude paa gaden, de ligeglade. Fylder lungerne op med roeg-_

Step one, get victim's attention:

"Yuuuuu!"

That should do. Kanda looked at me over his shoulder, and I took a step closer. In front of him stood Daisya who laughed gleefully as he sent a coin racing over the table. The guy opposite of him cried out in pain as it hit spot on.

Step two, weird victim out:

"I'm in a situation as bad as being caught by Leverrier with a whip and playboy bunny ears in a dark alleyway on a Sunday night!" I yelled in order to be heard above the music.

Yuu raised an eyebrow, clearly not getting where I was going. I took another step.

"What?" he asked.

Step three, gain victim's 1) respect, or 2) pity:

"I have no dance partner," I wailed. He tch'ed. I took another step.

Step four, request:

"So dance with me!" I grinned. I didn't dare take another step forward, however, because then I'd bump right into his back. I was glad the music was so deafening, surely it was only _barely_ drowning out the sound of my heartbeat. Why was I asking him for a dance, again? Wasn't I supposed to be more guarded?

"No."

He said with a dreadfully flat voice. Not that I really _expected _a yes, the problem was that I'd _hoped _for a yes.

"Because I'm having fun," he then said, holding his fisted hands up in front of my face. And he was smirking despite his abused and almost gory knuckles. Whether he was trying to hide it or not, he was obviously having fun, (as fucking morbid as it seemed) so I saw my chance for another approach to complete my mission.

I smiled ingratiatingly. "So, you're not thirsty?" Oh yes. _Intoxication._ Shit, I could be a freaking ninja, man.

He pointed his thumb at a half-empty cup on the table, "I can help myself, idiot."

Now, I may have only one good eye, but I can pick out a beer when I see one. And beer alone was not going to get Kanda drunk!

Step five, in case of emergency, _drink victim under the table_.

"I'll be right back!"

Kanda paid no mind to me, instead getting ready for another round of Bloody Knuckles. He smiled evilly with the twenty kroner's coin in his hand, as Daisya fearlessly set his knuckles on the table.

I headed for the bar. I sailed over the dance floor, navigating through people, people, people. Many an elbow was shoved into my stomach, and I high-fived Allen as I passed him. "Meet me outside in five! Bring some cigarettes!" I yelled over the noise. He nodded. If someone was good at bumming smokes, it was Al.

I was sweatier than I liked to be. "Yo Glitzy!" I greeted the baron as I finally reached the bar. "Can I mix up a Lavi's Special for my friend?"

As I might've mentioned earlier, Kanda doesn't drink much. As such, his system is sensitive to the magic water called vodka. Or wutzki, were we to speak Russian. Anyway, off track. Mix vodka with something really nauseatingly sweet, and they balance each other up quite nicely. Thanks to good luck and karma and God and Allah and all those, Alistair had nauseatingly sweet soft drinks. I chose Fanta Exotic because, A) it was so sweet you couldn't drink it raw, and B) it was the most orange drink in the whole world. Top the cocktail with lemon and you have a perfect drink for Kanda. Remember to _not_ add a little fancy umbrella, however tempting it may be.

As I headed back, I steered around the dance floor rather than through it. A lot of people were heading outside for a smoking break now, and more than one were maneuvering their way towards a night snack in the kitchen.

"Drink it," I said as I sat beside Kanda. He looked at me all suspicious-like. "Drink it." He started to glare. I pushed the cup towards him. "Drink it," I smiled and tried my best to look innocent. The Yuu is persistent, the Lavi in persistent-er. Persistent…er. More persistent. Persistnetier? Whatever. I wasn't under the influence at all. "Drink it."

"Shut the fuck up," Kanda ground out. But I kept going, kept prodding him and poking him in the side. He snapped and punched my shoulder. I laughed (even though, _shit that hurt_) and said: "Come on, drink it!" Daisya started rooting for me at some point.

And maybe he was determined to not be a dry ass-hat on Lenalee's birthday, or he was just damn tired of me being a pest. Either way, he drank it all in one gulp.

"Wooo!" we clapped.

Yuu looked at me sourly, "Fuck off, that tasted like shit!" he yelled and threw the empty plastic cup at me. But I was already halfway out the room.

"I'll see you in twenty minutes," I laughed loudly, and then I was out the door in a bounce.

**

* * *

22nd May, 10 - Author's Rant:**

**Daisya? I don't think there's a Turkish name spelled like that. It could be Daisha? Dasia? They're girl names, though, haha. Deniz? Anyhow, so I thought I should teach you about Danish disco. "Skub til taget" is a popular song right now, listen to it on youtube: ****http :/www .youtube .com/watch?v=AD0-LwFsDL0**(without spaces)

**Stranger danger! Enter Alistair Crowley! The creepy dork of all creepy dorks! Were you surprised? Did you guess it? Mwahaha! *swooshes black cloak and disappears magically***

**Plugging:****LonelyFantasyXIII is a funny and talented author. She has written this really sweet LaviYuu fic called "Zero Tolerance" and she even managed to put some Noah Family awesomeness in it! The fic contains alcohol, action (of various kinds), AlLena, cute, corny and lot's of LaviYuu greatness. Go read! :D**

**Qritique (as well as mindless babble) reviews always appreciated.**


	9. Nine

**CHAPTER NINE**

:x:

I headed for the bar. I sailed across the dance floor, navigating through people, people, people. Many an elbow was shoved into my stomach, and I high-fived Allen as I passed him. "Meet me outside in five! Bring some cigarettes!" I yelled over the noise. He nodded. If someone was good at bumming smokes, it was Al.

:x:

**Just Doing My Job, Sir**

The long (but short) journeys of Allen Walker.

:x:

"Hello there, Noise. Mind my bumming fags in your territory?" Allen fired a Colgate smile at Noise Marie, who was defenceless. (And fairly inebriated.)

Noise did a nifty little sweep with his right hand on the laptop's mouse, and one song faded into another.

_She's got both hands in her pockets, and she won't look at you, won't look at yoooou-_

What nice timing, as Allen had very suddenly hit Lady Gaga Mode.

"Yeah yeah, just don't do anything ill-mannered," he tooth-smiled back, squinting his eyes like he always did.

"Yes, sir. Just doing my job." Salute. Heel-clack. Turnaround. And the words he mumbled behind shut lips as he returned to the dance floor went unheard. "I'll be mannered, all right."

_Don't call my name, don't call my name, Alejandro. Ale-Alejandroo, Ale-Alejandroooo—_

Allen spotted (more like targeted) a girl in the corner he'd been having a short chat with earlier. She was talking with her friends. A bit round, but overall very neat. Not that her looks had anything to do with the pack of cigarettes in her hand. He could always start a conversation complimenting the weather.

He adjusted his imaginary hat and his unfortunately not-so-imaginative bowtie, and strode to the object of his choice.

Much to his luck, the girl recognised him before he even reached the group.

"Oh, hi!" she waved at him. "Look, that's the guy I was talking about," she whispered to her girlfriend beside her, not very quietly. "You've _got_ to hear his accent."

Allen was _this close_ to saying "Faux pas," but he would not make such a… Faux pas. Right. He is one known for his Marvellous Control of Tongue and Facial Expression. A designation not to be changed anytime soon, thank you.

And no, that title wasn't meant in a naughty way, pervo.

"Why hello again, Miss. What a lovely," his brain took no more than a nanosecond to come up with something to compliment, "dress."

He smiled at her, she giggled at him, homerun.

"Really! I bought it yesterday!"

Allen kept focusing on looking at her face instead of the green pack of cigarettes she was waving around frantically. He kept the chit chat going with the group of girls for the obligatory minimum one and a half minutes, where after he clapped his hands and _politely_ and _casually_ inquired:

"Say, ladies, could I possibly be allowed to borrow a cigarette or two for me and my friend?"

The Big But Overall Neat-girl instantly made the "Oh!"-face and started taking fags out of the pack. When she handed him three, he accepted them with a "That's plenty! I will need an excuse to come chat with you later, will I not?"

He smiled at her, she laughed bashfully at him, goal.

But as he was about to turn around and find other girls to seduce (no wait, that's not it!), he suddenly halted. Manners, Walker. Manners!

"Oh, by the way, Miss. What's your name again?"

"I-it's Lucy," she smiled coyly. Satisfied, Allen waved and walked away through the crowd, feeling well-mannered and probably not condescending at all.

:x:

Allen kept seducing little girls (wait, no he didn't!) for some time, until he saw Lavi navigating across the dance floor with something _excruciatingly orange_ in his grasp. He was about to say "What the bloody hell," but he felt he'd used up his profanity-quota for tonight.

Where is he heading? Thought Allen, not being able to spot anyone in particular in the mass ahead of Lavi. "I bet it's Kanda."

He watched the redhead (more like airhead) steer towards a table in the corner. When at the destination, he held forth the orange poison to someone that was… out of Allen's vision, blocked by a guy in a yellow shirt. Allen just managed to think "Who the hell wears yellow shirts?" before he got the bitter taste of realisation in his mouth. He ignored it gallantly and stepped to the side to get a proper view of Lavi and… Yes, that was indeed our Kanda. And our Kanda did not look amused.

Allen foresaw some amusing bullying that he did _not_ want to miss. Because Lavi was good at bullying. Kanda. Indeed. It was peculiar how that boy kept winding Kanda up no matter how many times he got pushed or kicked back. Was Lavi a guy who would never give up? Or was he just stupid? Hard to know, when it's Lavi we're talking about. He's really simple, while being really complicated. Allen can't quite take him seriously, to be honest. He feels like the guy can't be serious about himself, either. First he seems awfully determined on something, and then it's like he loses his courage, and then he's not keen on doing it at all, and then he finds something new he's all eager about. It's like he couldn't decide, like he was confused. And it made him restless. To Allen, it seemed the only thing Lavi could gather himself around was schoolwork and learning. Fact-like stuff. Everything else seemed sort of… out of his grasp.

Which was why his persistency towards Kanda puzzled him.

It's almost like in front of Kanda he tried to be someone he really wasn't.

And somehow Lavi was… successful. With being someone he wasn't. Like he'd done it before, all he ever did. As if changing your personality, posture, attitude, and speech into something that it wasn't the hour prior was trivial. Allen will probably never truly know whether Lavi is an airhead or a mastermind.

But he often found 'mastermind' a word so out of place on Lavi that he couldn't stop giggling. He settled on airhead for the time being. Provoking the Dragon In Hiding must be stupidity.

Some people began to trickle out of the room to either get food, nicotine, or whatever drunken people do when they're drunk and not dancing drunkenly. When a few began to leave, some more followed after. As if they were being dictated to smoke collectively. Silly them, thought Allen, for he knew there _was _no universal smoking break. Only we-smoke-when-we-have-time breaks. Why do you think they have recesses in school? He pushed through the people, heading for his two friends (see: Comrade Of Rivalry & arch foe). No more than three meters did he get, before a hand briskly landed on his shoulder.

Rule one when startled: mask it.

Allen almost yelped. Almost. Master of Tongue and Facial Expression. He turned around to face an uncomfortably close visage of a guy from Lenalee's evening classes. That was drunkenly drunk. Allen almost lifted his eyebrow. Almost.

"HEY, AAAaaaauuuuuhhh…" his expression turned into that of one who's just forgotten somebody else's name.

Now, I've never-! "Allen," smiled Allen.

"Oh yeah! That's right! Hey, you're at the same school as Lenalee, right? Right?"

Fuck you and the way you fail at life. "That I am," he answered politely, still smiling.

"Yeah! Yeah. Great party! Am I right? Right!" he laughed and patted Allen's shoulder heavily.

No need to get all argy-bargy, now. "True, she's an excellent host."

"Yeah, totally! And super hot, man!"

Go drown yourself in the loo. "Very attractive, yes I can't argue against that."

"Totally, man!"

Ta ta for now. "I'm terribly sorry but… it seems you have something on your face."

"My face! What?"

Spell idiot, please. "Something black. Right… here," Allen pointed with his index finger to his own cheek.

"What! Really? Hey, catch you later, dude!"

Eat humble pie, shit slice. "Absolutely."

The guy… The _dude_ toppled out of the room towards the WC. Allen was just about to inwardly get very upset over being called a 'dude', but Lavi completely interrupted his temper.

"Al! Dude!"

Allen half-pouted when he saw Lavi striding towards him. Both because he missed the bullying and the chance to put something nasty in Kanda's drink. Also, and it might've been his imagination, but he thinks he heard _clapping_. "Hi Ruby. Nice weather, isn't it?"

"What the fuck hit you?"

"Lady Gaga Mode."

"Right, man. You got the fags? I need to roll the joint first, gimme a red."

Allen bunged him a red Prince, acquired from a guy from Lena's art class. It'd been the guy's second last, and Al considered that cigarette quite the catch, if he were to say so himself. Only the best for the best. Fuck the rest.

Allen complained to Lavi, who in return laughed and joked around, being himself instead of not-Lavi. And first Lavi wanted Noise to lock up the door to the storeroom, but then he gave up on that, and then he wanted Johnny to borrow him a lighter, but then he realised he'd brought his own.

Lavi was adjustable like a modifiable amendment that was variable. When with Noise he was all "Hey, we can keep a secret, you and me, just lend me the storeroom for two minutes". When talking to Johnny he went "Yo it's my goddamn homeboy! How ya' doin' smarty, you _nailed_ that birthday present didn't you, huh?". But in the company of Allen the tone was something like "You take the left, I take the right, go buddy! If we fail, save yourself!"

Allen said "Faux pas" about five times, but in the end all was well, and they managed to roll the fucking joint, and Mister Walker was just glad he didn't have to bother with facades _at all_.

**

* * *

5th September, 2010 - Author's Rant:**

**SHORT INTERLUDE FROM ALTERNATIVE POINT OF VIEW, there will be more of that later. Even if it sucks. Because I want to try it out. ****Allen's character is so frikkin hard to write, tho! And even harder to understand! It doesn't help that the DGM anime butchered it! (ps yes i changed my Word proofing to British, derpderp)  
**

**Ah, guys, summer holidays. I sincerely apologise for – back in May - not informing you when my next scheduled update would be. Please refrain from stoning me to death.**

**Plugging:**** So! There's this Swedish fangurl called ****Tossino :D She has written this fabulous fic called "Road of Perdition", that somehow manages to 1) make an un-horrible OC, and 2) make an un-horrible little sister for Kanda. ALL IN ONE. And Lavi is his own usual sexy self being a bookman in modern NY. Now, you've **_**got **_**to see that! (…Pssst also read her cute AlLena storiiiiiessss)**

**Qritique (as well as mindless babble) reviews always appreciated.**


	10. Ten

**CHAPTER TEN**

:x:

You can get what you want as long as you want nothing.

:x:

"Fuck this lighter."

Everybody, pull forth your history books. Grab a pitch black waterproof marker. Write down this date, and this epic happening.

Allen just said _fuck_. Like, blimey, man.

"Where did you buy this, anyway? Honestly," he said while repeatedly pressing the igniter and trying to produce a flame.

I held up my hand so as to shield the lighter from the wind, and answered with a grin: "In the city, the porn shop behind Magasin mall."

"Lust? That explains the graphic decoration, I guess, " he mumbled, and gave the naked lady on the lighter a faux shocked look.

"Aye!" I barked a laugh. Of course I'd buy that lighter, it was so "Lavi". I considered it a great appendage of my character. Or the character I wanted to be, anyway. And, hey, she wore bunny ears!

We'd walked outside, past the smoking smokers, the girl vomiting in the bush, and the two guys staggering off to catch a bus home.

I mentioned that Al was good at obtaining cigarettes, didn't I? Being a non-smoker, even. With his pretty face and polite manners and precious accent. Yeah, we were plentifully supplied. I had already smoked two, Al had smoked one of those gross menthol ones, we'd used one to roll a joint, and we had two to spare. Which was good, because in my haste to leave my apartment this evening, I'd forgotten my package of red Cecil. So okay the two last might be menthol, but little is better than none.

Allen hunched his shoulders. It made me realize that is was actually cold out here. Strange, since I felt warm right now. And even though it was supposed to be dark, I felt as if I could spot an eagle a mile away, even with one eye. Nothing could touch me now. I was fucking invincible. Why did I hear a subdued James Bond soundtrack somewhere in my head?

Al finally managed to light the lighter. And the joint. And then he jointed the joint. Uh, I mean dragged a drag from the joint. And I dragged the lighter. Into my pocket.

He'd been sober up until now, that Brit. (How the hell did he manage? Did the food make him high? Does sausage work as antabuse, the anti-alcoholic medication? We don't know.) I myself had held my alcohol consumption at a sane level, since being drunk and high at the same time is seriously not a good idea. Not if you want to _not_ be a zombie the next day, at least. Experience, shut up.

Beer mostly did the thing for me at parties; I'd brought the hash for Allen's sake. Depending on the type, hash can ruin your party mood, since it makes you unable to enjoy others; the only thing you enjoy when you're high is yourself. But I could control this.

The characteristic hazel eyes were immediate on Allen's face. His gaze wandered off to somewhere off this round earth, he was currently in a place no one could reach. Hopefully a place that was flat, since being on a round earth will give you trouble standing straight. That's just logic. Was it my imagination, or was the ground tilting?

And just how sane had my alcohol consumption been? Testing, one, two, three… Can I say Mississippi?

"Mississippi."

Allen burst out laughing.

"Give the joint heeeere, Ally!"

"You have no restraint!" Ally (what, Ally?) giggled violently.

"I _do_!" I said and snatched it from his white hands. "Yoink."

Allen wanted to make a crestfallen expression, but apparently his facial muscles were _not_ taking orders from a beansprout right now, no way babe. So he ended up making the mildly offended 'uuuuhh'-face.

With two fingers I carefully held close to the tip and brought the joint to my mouth.

Close eyes. Drag in. Slowly breathe out.

I could feel the drug running from my head all the way through my body to my legs and feet. Like a wave of… illegal drugs, really. It felt great. Pulsating. The world stopped turning around, everything was good now. I looked around. Everything was _friendly_. And the music from inside was calling me! Come, Lavi! Come shake yer booty! You are amazing! Like a fruit so ripe it's about to rot!

We finished it, we failed at saying Mississippi, we laughed hysterically, and then I swung my arm around Al's shoulder and pulled him inside.

"We're gonna' rock this party," I whispered, not noticing how much I was leaning on him. When he started to look uncomfortable, I felt an urge to tease him. Just because he was easy. "You with me or not?" I breathed into his ear. He shook lightly, trying to shrug me off, but at the same time not really being able to do much. Or maybe I was just being heavy. Get oooooff, heavy Laviiii-

In the dining room, the music was nice 'n loud, just enough for people not needing to worry about conversation. I stood in the doorway, like a king with an Ally-knight under his arm, letting my sight behold the splendour of a thousand tight asses moving somewhat simultaneously to the beat. Or, not _thousands_, but you know the feeling.

And then, in the best pop music video manner, it was like the crowd moved away (like a wave of asses!) and led my sight to the prettiest person in the room. In the country. In the universe, including other dimensions! Like in slow-motion (for the second time tonight, what) his hands moved as he threw something unidentifiable after someone else. And it was _beautiful_.

I was enchanted.

And I was enchanted while unconsciously strangling my ally. Ally. What, _Allen!_ A cough and two feeble tugs made me look down at his tense face.

"Whoops, sorry," I said, and remembered to let go.

If you get high, the giraffe will come and eat you. Santa Claus said so.

Somebody yelled behind my shoulder, _what's up? _From beside me the knight said _just dallying arouuuund!_ But I was wasted, and I had wasted too much time on this. I heard them speak, but I didn't hear the words. I needed to go dance. _Now._

My boots hit five centimetres above the ground every time I took another step, I was tall, levitating; every movement of fibre was made to get me to the dance floor. I surged forward -

Wait! Peripheral observation! Cookies! I did a pirouette and faced the kitchen. "Well okay, fuck the dance floor for now, I want cookies." Whoever said I'm irresolute? "I'm steady as a rock," I mumbled and tripped.

In the kitchen I met Lena. Not looking at me she said: "What the fuck, are you drunk!"

"Yeah, that too." Why so incredulous?

"You should have stayed in the tight jacket!"

"Ti…" wait what?

"Where's Cross?"

Somewhere in Germany? Not until I really looked at Lenalee did I see she was on the phone. "Oh."

She kept making livid gestures and sounding angry in a sort of upset way. I plodded over to the kitchen counter where Noise and – most importantly – the cookies stood. I could have said something witty to Noise, but I filled my mouth with sugary factory-pastry instead. Live for the lovely**. **Dozens of chocolate flavoured cookies will stop me from blurting stupid words.

I managed to munch down a total amount of _six_ cookies before Lena hung up and turned to us, saying: "Cross is _so_ the mother of all douchebags, man!"

Noise nodded and said "Totally," and I concentrated on eating and said "Mmh phmmph." Blame the munchies. (It is seldom that speech is overrated, but this is one of those moments.)

Lena furiously grabbed her cider (because Lena hates beer) and said: "Oh my god, the dude is whacko! Like, first thing he does is break the speed limit and get a ticket-!" she abruptly halted her rant to take a swig from the bottle, "- because the policeman was some old fart he couldn't seduce!" While she talked I noticed my mouth was strangely dry, so I went to drink some water straight from the faucet. "So instead of going directly to the hotel like he _promised_, suddenly he takes brother to some Society Partay for Kaisers with sun-punished leather skin! For real, mister Cross? Do you seriously want to fight me?" When she's drunk she insults people in funny ways. I wiped the crumbs from my face with the back of my hand. "So now bro is stuck somewhere in Berlin's suburbs and he can't get a taxi because it's past bloody midnight!" She turned to me and looked me in the eye. "And he's dead drunk!" Both her hands were in the air above her head, her knuckles were all white from squeezing her mobile.

"So you help him by yelling at him over the phone?"

BEEP! Wrong reply, Lavi my drunken boy!

"Laviii, shut up! Say something!" she wailed and rumpled her hair with her fingers.

"Lena, hot chick, he's a grown man, he can take care of himself, I swear. Komui worries for you all the time –"

"Yes, but now _I'm_ the one who's worried!" she shook her hands illustratively in front of her.

"- and doesn't that annoy you? If you're allowed to have a party, isn't he?"

"Yes, but he is _so_ not sober right now."

"Well, are you?"

"… No."

"Which one of you called, anyway?"

"… I did." She glared unhappily at the floor, her arms hanging at her side.

This gal was strange. She hated others worrying about herself, but she worried about everyone else. Or the people she cared for, at least. I guess it was a part of her insistent personality. She by no means meant to be pushy, but she always kept an attentive eye on everybody around her. She kept her friends the closest. She demanded they did what was best for them. In that way, she was sort of egoistic.

But at the same time, she was extremely adorable.

"Hey," I said. She looked up at me, and I smiled reassuringly. At first she stared back with knitted eyebrows, but subsequently she gave a despondent sigh. Then, with determination and speed rarely seen, she activated the blitz on her mobile and flashed the light in my face.

I immediately grimaced and shielded my eyes with my hands.

"Ruby, you smoked weed."

I laughed. "Sure thing. You should go see Allen now, he's so stoned you can hardly understand him because of his accent," I told her with a grin. She gave me a this-guy-can't-be-helped smile that made me feel like a kid caught stealing cookies from a cookie jar. Though I honestly couldn't eat anymore cookies right now, no thanks man.

Noise who stood beside me gave a these-guys-can't-be-helped chuckle, and the room was filled with mercy and love, I tell ye. Love love love is easy to feel when you're fucking shitfaced, and we are nothing but young humans with hearts like motors and an unhealthy liking of intoxicating shit. So let there be lovin', even for the heartbroken. I might not strike you as a heartbroken guy, but I've woken up alone in my flat a Tuesday morning with a hea(rt)dache so big I couldn't even count the empty cans on my table. Ugh, never again…

"By the way, Ruby –" Lenalee started saying, but she got interrupted by a noise from the hall, and someone almost walking into the frame of the kitchen door.

"Ow!" Scratch that, someone just walked _directly_ into the door frame.

"Miranda?"

"Lenalee? You were here?" Miranda rubbed her forehead a bit and smiled that ever apologetic smile. She ought to be more evil. It'd suit her.

Lena and Noise hurried over to her, and she said oh it's okay it is but a scratch, and they said you just walked into the fucking wall, girl.

Behind her in the hall, I saw Yuu and some others walk past; Kanda looked at me, but then disappeared again. I didn't follow him.

A while later Johnny entered. He was being depri-drunk, so I gave him cookies and persuaded him to ask Miranda to dance. Miranda giggled in a slightly madly way, and then the two of them and Noise went.

I couldn't help but think, at least you have someone to dance with. I wanted to dance with Kanda. I wanted it so badly I was about to throw myself on the ground and fucking cry and be a nuisance. I was never allowed to be a nuisance, dude.

Lenalee came over and stood beside me. I straightened up. "I want to dance with somebody, too," I said dramatically, acting as if acting was all I ever did. God, I wish Tyki was here right now. He was hot, and he whispered things in my ear. Ear whispering seemed like a nice thing at the moment.

Lena sniggered. I noticed her bra was showing on her back. I didn't say anything.

"So, Lavi, what did you do with your mobile?" Well at least she wasn't totally hung up on her bro anymore.

"I put it in my bag, it's in the cloakroom. Luckily the memory card is intact. Not sure if I can reuse the awesome bug stickers, though…" I answered a bit sadly. (Those stickers _were_ awesome, I swear.)

"Pff, I'm sure you can find some new ones," she smiled and took the last cookie. I stared at the empty package. Things were weird, things had funny colours. Things had outlines, contour. I looked at Lena while she spoke to me, and I knew she was saying a lot of things, but I couldn't really concentrate on the words. Blah blah bartender blah blah favourite shoes blah blah pink condoms blah. I nodded.

Then, however, she suddenly put a hand on the tip of my shoulder. It was a tentative move, only enough for me to barely sense. "By the way, Ruby. You're in love with Kanda, right?"

Blah blah Kanda, right? I nodded.

She gave a sympathetic "tsk'aw," and moved her hand to stroke my neck. I felt strangely deprived. I looked to the floor, inwardly slightly distressed, because for the first time I didn't know what to say. Lenalee's pity was a terrible thing to receive. _Pitiful_ didn't go well with _happy-go-lucky_.

Lenalee stepped closer; I could feel her chest on mine, and then she stretched up and kissed me. On the mouth.

She didn't close her eyes or anything. She just kissed me, actually. No big deal. I didn't move away. I didn't open my mouth. She didn't really try to.

Then I put a heavy hand on her shoulder and said: "Partybladder. I need to go take a piss."

She smiled and said, sure, and then I left.

:x:

Alistair now sold five shots for three and a half's price, so I shared some with Johnny and danced with Miranda and a girl named Susan. The lights were flaring and blaring like it wanted to send a thousand ships to safe shore. As a boat I sailed through a mass of sweat, salt and beer.

When the DJ turned down the volume and my knees started to shake, I decided it was time for a smoking break.

In the room next to the cloakroom people were noisy and talkative. In there the lights were on and the music wasn't so loud. I was looking for Allen, and this was the last room he could be in.

"Qalab wighek, yalla," Seriously, fuck off, I said in Arabic as I pushed my way through a snuggling couple that just couldn't go somewhere else with their love affair. "Take it outside." They looked at me with furious glares. "Guys, guys, guys… If you have unsafe sex you _will_ lose your puppy to a truck. I'm sorry, that's just how it is."

The girl huffed haughtily and left, the boy soon hurrying after her with both their jackets.

"Al!" I said when I spotted him; he was rooting for some guy playing at the table football.

"Ay-up, Ruby!" he waved at me, and I couldn't decide, whether the fact that he'd picked up my nickname that fast, was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Sup, pal?" I nodded and pounded him a brofist. We're so fucking ghetto.

"Just being astounded as to why the bloody 'ell drunk peeps are so good at table football," he lifted his chin and grinned. "How about you?"

"Just being my awesome self," I smirked. "Give me a cigarette."

Allen pulled two from his breast pocket and said: "Here, lad, take them nicotine rolls and wait for me outside, savvy?"

"Savvy, old salt."

I walked out to the hall again, where I leaned against a wall. I tried to guess what hour it was. Maybe two? Three? It didn't matter. The only thing open now was the grill, probably. Bitch all up in that grill. 'Cept he doesn't like fries, does he? Fuck, I could eat some fries right now. And boiled eggs.

Speaking of boiled eggs and bitches, how's my personal bitch doing? Not that I establish any particular comparison between Yuu and eggs, but whatever.

I should go tell Yuu he reminds me of an egg. I should go whisper it in his ear. Ear whispering seems like a perfect idea.

I pushed myself off the wall with fortitude and went to the dining room. There weren't _nearly_ as many people as earlier, but I guessed many had gone home already. A group had moved some chairs over to the DJ stand and were talking; Johnny looked like he was explaining something in great detail to some other guys, and Miranda was sitting so close to Noise she was practically on his lap. Nice score, DJ Noise.

On the fringe of the semi-circle sat Kanda beside Daysia. Even from the doorway I could hear Kanda swearing in Japanese, but then Daysia told some joke and Kanda burst into his hoarse laughter, the one where he throws his head back and shifts his position a bit. The room was dark, but I could see - almost _feel_ - his hair fall over his shoulders, and he pulled his one foot up to rest on the seat. He looked so careless, like the world could go fuck itself for all he cared. I felt an incredible urge to pull his hair back with all my strength and bite his exposed neck till it bled; I wanted him to fear for his fucking jugular.

Sometimes I wish I could be you, Kanda. Sometimes I wish I could be you so I wouldn't have to see these ugly sides of myself. It must be nice to be the sun itself. Since when were there so many shadows? Step around them, Kanda. Avoid what's grim, the grim doesn't deserve you.

Why should I stand there like an idiot and care about something that was off limits? I turned around and walked outside, not caring whether he'd spotted me at the door or not.

:x:

Minutes later found me and good ol' Allen in front of the main entrance, having a good ol' fag. (Even if it was menthol.) (Yeah I freaking despise menthol.) Inhale, exhale. Oxygen, carbon dioxide, nitrogen, frost, tar and nicotine.

Al finished his quickly and hurried inside with stiff shoulders, but I said I'd rather stay out here for a little longer. Fresh air never hurt anyone. Or, at least not anyone who didn't pass out in a snowdrift.

A while later the door opened behind me again, and when I turned around I was surprised to see Kanda standing there with his bitches-don't-know-about-my-ulterior-motives face. When he regarded me I turned my back on him (only screaming a _little bit_ inside).

"Kuso, nani o yatteruka…?"

Sounds like somebody's so drunk they can't speak Danish anymore, hm?

I spit out the burnt-out stump and crushed it with my heel. The tricky part right now was to ignore Kanda long enough to get myself under control. And only bleed a _little bit_ inside.

"You're avoiding me!" Kanda then yelled in frustration. Not that he's known for holding his frustrations back.

I turned to face him, thereby defeating my purpose. "Yes!" I yelled back, fifty percent mad offensive, fifty percent shamefully defensive. Lenalee says I'm paradoxical.

"Why!"

"Because!" Short pause… "I'm so drunk I might puke on you!"

"So! ?"

"Eh!"

Kanda slapped himself in his pretty face as soon as he realized what he'd just said.

Stop slapping your pretty face, love. That hand of yours could be put to better use somewhere else -

… SEE, I SHOULD NOT BE NEAR KANDA NOW.

"_That_...! Is none of your fucking business!"

"It's none of my fucking business if I fucking puke on you! What the fuck!"

"Fuck!"

Yes please. _Fuck_...

The two of us yelling at each other was about to become a bad habit. But right now, my heart was sprinting away like a Harley Davidson motorcycle with 200 kilometers per hour, and my mind was _not _following.

"I should just beat you up, right now!" He yelled.

"Violence solves nothing!"

"Well then I will use my powerful wit!"

"Come at me with all you've got!"

"I totally just farted!"

And then of course I couldn't do anything but fall down and laugh in tears, because Raven just said _fart_ and it was the best joke ever. Sometimes I suspect he knows me better than I'd like him to.

"Oh my fucking god how drunk are you even?" I laughed (more like wheezed).

"Drunk!" And of course I loved him for his way with words. "Urusai, ketsunoana!"

I dried my tears and replied in Hebrew: "Ani ohev otcha, mamzer." I love you, bastard, I grinned.

When I'd pulled myself up and caught my breath, Yuu said: "Let's go home," and I answered: "Aye, let's."

* * *

**30th December, 2010 - Author's Rant:**

**Groooaaarrr…!**

**Don't do dangerous drugs.**

**As your personal Aarhus guide, I feel the duty inform you where to find a sex shop. No need to thank me :^]**

**I NO LONGER BELIEVE IN MONTHLY UPDATES. But this fanfiction will definitely continue. It's looooong from over, man.**

**A BIG HUMONGOUS GIGANTIC THANK YOU TO MY BETA BOND, HEARMELAUGH/MUGEN_EDAMAME, FOR BEING (ALMOST) EVERLASTINGLY PATIENT WITH ME, AND ALSO SUPER AWESOME AND WISE IN GENERAL :D for real, you've taught me lots and lots.**

**Plugging:**** Harmony283! Oh, I really enjoy her writing; it's like, idek, something about her being able to put a lot of emotions into not much text. It's sincere. In "When Kanda Smiles" they're simply being idiots, really, but in a super cute way. "Mine & Yours" is something you should all go review so she will continue it, because Lavi is all emotional! And "Habit" is just purely amazing and touching.**

**Critique (as well as mindless babble) reviews always appreciated.**


	11. Eleven

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

:x:

It must be nice to be the sun, but the brightest light makes the darkest shadow.

:x:

Yuu was moping.

Two things: one, he had to leave his car at the hut and not get it back till _tomorrow_ (tearful gasp). Two, I was going to invade his privacy for tonight (lustful purr).

"_How_ the _fucking fuck _does one manage to forget his keys to his apartment when _one_ is a fucking dude that usually remembers fucking _everything_."

I can't say, Yuu. It will forever remain a mystery to the world how I lost my apartment keys. At 4 am. In a forest. Shall I solve the case? It's elementary, dear Watson.

So Yuu and I decide to call it a night and go home. Together and have sex.

Heavens, say it ain't so!

Alas, it ain't so. And that's the problem. The issue! The crisis! Oh sadness, oh drama, woe is me and my cat!

So, like, I very politely and meekly asked if I could be allowed to stay at Kanda's for the night, "Hey Yuu, lemme' crash at your place!", but he denied me. "No," and the sky fell down and the world ended. So I - Lavi, moi, ese, boku - decided to come up with a master plan and seduce Yuu. Or, well… make him let me crash at his place, at least.

"Okay then, Yuu. I'll just... go over here. You go inside, don't wait for me," I said in a very unconspiring voice. (Unconspiring? I seem to have a problem with autonyms when I'm drunk.) And then I just hoped Yuu would be unwaiting. (As in not waiting, and fuck autonyms right now please)

"Grrrr what are you conspiring," he growled in a sexy way that was about to ruin my plans.

"I'm not conspiring! Have more faith in me!" I wailed and pushed him inside so I could conspire out here in secrecy.

So Yuu walked (was shakily shoved) inside, and I ran into the forest. And that sentence sounds kinna' like I'm planning a midnight murder but I'm totally not, honest.

When I was out of sight from the windows of the hut, I found my keys in my pocket and dropped them on the ground.

Then I thought about it a bit...

And then I realised that throwing your keys away in a forest was a stupid idea, so I picked them up and neatly put them on a branch instead. It was a branch sticking out from a beech in a 45 degree angle; it fit perfectly in the little crack between the branch and the trunk. I looked around, memorising the area, then the tree. It was like taking a picture. I'd be able to remember this tomorrow, no problem.

... now I sound like a fucking mental, don't I? So what if I'm a bit autistic? You're the one reading fangirl gay fiction on the internet, man, _you're_ the weirdo here. Your mom would be ashamed of you. Hmph.

After breaking the novel's fourth wall, I walked back to the front door. I kept looking around; up to the tree tops, down at the ground, to the sides; everything here was sorted into little pieces in my mind, it all had its own system. A natural system I could decipher and rely on. I was glad nobody else was out here, because I must've looked like an idiot, glaring around almost like a paranoid. But this was _necessary_, and crucial to my master plan. Wherein "master" is in lowercase letters.

When I arrived inside, what little was left of the party members were in the kitchen. I saw Yuu, Miranda, Noise, Allen, Lenalee and another girl beside her with a flashy green dress. Her name was Susan, according to Allen.

She was very nice, but not too bright, according to Allen.

She had nice breasts, according to Allen.

I, being drunk and uncaring and homo, took my time to take a look at Susan's breast. Fist under my chin, in true Sherlock style, motherfucker. I decided they weren't as pretty as Lena's, but they were okay. Then I decided that Allen wasn't going to get any tonight, because he was a noob. Too-smooth charlatan, sir Walker; you can't pick up girls right. He always got the first steps right, he always got their _attention_, and they loved fawning over him. But after that he either didn't dare to take it any further, or he became too much of their friend. Like it happened with Lena. Yup, Al was totally virgin. "Sorry to break it to ya, Brit brat."

Noise noticed me in the doorway (he's half blind, but his hearing fails _nothing,_ I tell you) and he said, "Hey Ruby, we were just about to go get you." _Everybody calls me Ruby now!_

"We were?" Allen asked, and I was like, whatever, virgin. Then Noise and Miranda went home (they _oddly _and _conveniently enough _take the same bus, hmmm), and when they did Al became super fidgety because should he follow Susan home, or should he not? To be, or not to be.

_Virgin._ Haha, this was fun.

But Lenalee, the steadfast Asian mommy in our lives, resolutely took both their hands and said "Let's sleep at Susan's place! She lives just up the hill!" Allen's face was both ridiculous and priceless, and Susan giggled crazily because she was _so obviously_ in on this. Girls can be scary. I thought I was the conspiracy master, here.

Speaking of conspiracy; I had some serious Kanda-convincing to do.

"Hey Yuu, lemme' crash at your place!"

Wait, didn't this fail just five minutes ago.

"No."

Fail!

"Yuu, you _have_ to. I can't get into my apartment!"

He looked at me incredulously, "Why the fuck not, you have keys," he stated.

"No," I _un_stated, "I don't."

"Wake up Suman and he'll unlock the damn door."

"No, he's in Copenhagen this weekend, I thought I told you. I can't get into my flat!"

"Grrrr, you're lying, you _have _keys," he said distrustfully and pulled roughly at my hoodie. He put his hand in the left pocket, searching. Then the right. I held up my hands submissively, because as you know I'd made sure there actually were no keys. I also needed to clench my jaw a bit, because he was touching me aaaaaaaah don't stop searching I have more pockets in my jeans babe…

Kanda gave up eventually, because there can only be so much secret hidden space in the pockets of hoodies. Alas.

I patted my backside to show him there were no keys there either, where I normally kept them. As much as I'd want him to search my back pockets himself, I was sober enough to know that he would never.

Lenalee, Susan and Al moved past me out the door so they could take the rest of their things and get going.

I looked at Yuu with not-so-teary eyes, "Yuu, you really want me to sleep on the cold, cold streets tonight? Or go with Allen and ruin his _one chance _to get laid tonight? You don't do that shit to pals, man." His eyebrow twitched. Why Lena could go with them, and I couldn't, remained an unanswered question to me, I just hoped Yuu was wasted enough and didn't think too much about it. "Why would I be lying anyway?"

See, I should have a point there. Why would I even lie about my keys; what did I gain? It was only trouble for me having to sleep at someone else's place. There was no point if I could actually sleep at home or close by. Therefore, Kanda must trust that I quite simply asked him because I had no other choice. That was logic Kanda could follow, wasn't it?

He blinked once, twice… "Okay then. But you will shut the fuck up and sleep, and not steal my beer or smoke in my house."

"Dude, Kanda, I _swear_ in the name of soba." I was good at Kanda-convincing! Profound, I'd even say!

And then Yuu started moping. I guess he doesn't like other people being within a 30 metre radius while he sleeps. It must be some… deep rooted samurai thing. Maybe. But he's _my_ deep rooted samurai, _rawr_.

Or perhaps he was just drunk and tired.

"Hurrr, where did my hands go?"

Yeah he was drunk and tired.

"They're on your arms, right beside your hips, babe."

"Whatever you shitty heemmm— heeaah, hhhamster…"

Poor Yuu, he even ran out of offensive nouns. "We should get going."

And then we gathered guys and gals and left the building. And Kanda's car. He looked longingly after it all the way down the first road.

:x:

Our three comrades followed Yuu and I to the bus stop. We had to walk a little further because the only stop with night busses was five more minutes away. From there we'd have to take a bus to the station, then one to the district where Yuu lived, and walk another ten minutes or so. But no road was too long when you had company! I'd walk half an hour in rain and sleet in a city called Robyervitálity if Kanda was by my side. Fuck it if he wouldn't do the same.

He was walking beside me, only in his sweater. It must've been fucking cold, but he said he was sweating like shit. His jacket was in Lenalee's bag, which I carried. Besides, fresh air seemed to do him good right now. Okay, he was concentrating a bit too much on the ground before his feet to look hearty, but twenty minutes ago he couldn't even stand straight. I predicted that he would have an enormous hangover tomorrow. In retrospect, that would be my fault. Shh.

Lenalee, Susan and Allen were walking up front. Susan walked in the middle because she was plastered, and seemed to go oddly off course several times. Like, hu-humm, just taking a leisurely strollll- OH WAIT A FLOWER must turn 80 degrees! Lenalee laughed every time, and not once did Allen fail to grab her around the waist and pull her back. Hey, he was the sober one, this was his _job_. He enjoyed helping others, too. A bit too much, perhaps.

Though, right now, he was just exalted he got to grab Susan's waist. Tsk, tsk, little noob.

"Ohh! Look, it's a red bicycle! Oh my god, let me just -"

Lena and Al laughed brightly, and he once again reached out for her to right her course. I must admit, he was a noob, but he was a smooth noob. He had her charmed, that's for sure. Dayum, where ya get dat swagger from, boy?

If Kanda started swinging left and right, would it be okay for me to grab him, too?

"We're heeeere," Susan said, sounding a bit tired. I spotted the bus stop ahead of us.

"What's the clock," I asked and rearranged the bag on my shoulder. Lenalee said, twelve past five. Seems like, for once, timing wasn't a bitch; we only had three minutes wait. Three minutes of talking and listening and wondering how a group of just five people can be so noisy. At some point, Lena quite obnoxiously yelled: "Whipped cream ready to squirt!" and of course it was hilarious as hell, and of course I jerked forward clenching my stomach in laughter.

Three minutes of watching Allen's flustered and sober face every time Susan and Lenalee suddenly started dancing at random. Watching him laugh nervously when Susan came too close.

Three minutes to watch the stars.

To count how many cars passed by them, which was only two.

Just three minutes to watch Kanda stand off to the side, paying no mind to it all, flying around in his own little world. How must it be in there, in Kanda's head? What's it like to be Kanda? Oh, how beautiful he looked with his eyes contently closed, face towards the sky.

Three minutes to imagine the things I could do to him at night if only he'd let me.

Until the bus came.

"It's the bus!"

It became visible at the end of the road, driving towards our stop with a speed that seemed almost like that of a snail's. We said our bye byes and see you laters, and Lenalee hugged everyone, because Lenalee is Lenalee, and I got an _extra_ big hug because I'm Lavi, and we almost lost balance and fell into some bushes. But hugging Lenalee is nice, so everything's okay.

I turned to Allen and said: "Get some taco, Al. Some _taco_, get it?" after which he - instead of flipping me off with his middle finger - gave me the little finger.

Because when Al flips you off, he does it with _style_.

"Bless your poor mother, Ruby."

"Fuck you, Brit," I smiled. Truthfully, we had been bitching at each other like that since high school. It all started when he wrote "supreme nerd" with waterproof marker on my pencil case. It's been a beautiful and rare rivalry ever since. "Tisbahe ala kheir," I said goodnight, gave Lena her bag back (which Allen immediately took, of course) and then Yuu and I got on the bus.

Lenalee smiled at us from the pavement, and I could hear her yell goodbye through the window, "Salaam Ruby, Kanda!" It sounded so weird hearing her say things in Arabic. It was probably the only word she could remember off the top of her head, right now.

Beside me, Yuu looked at me all weird and said: "…Lavi. Ruby?"

"Yeah. Nickname, I have it. But hey, Kandy -" Candy? I am so hilarious when I'm drunk, damn.

He punched my shoulder with unimpressive force, and I laughed and forgot what I was about to say.

The bus sped up, and the last thing I saw when we turned the corner was a defeatist looking Allen, and Lenalee and Susan waltzing down the street.

* * *

**14th March, 2011 – Author's Rant:**

**Man, it's been a dickyear, a rebellion and a natural disaster since I last updated. My hearts and thoughts reach out to the Japanese and Libyans; keep fighting, brothers and sisters!**

**As for me, currently ****life's annoying because it's winter, but otherwise, 2010 has been good. The best year in a decade. I feel evolved. Like a pokémon! However. **_**D. Gray-Man**_**? Yeah. Basically everything past chapter 165 sucked. However I still like how Hoshino smears the line between good and evil, and therefore I probably won't stop reading it.**

**Oh, and that Susan gal is not important at all. I don't feel like she's an OC, but blah**

**Plugging****: ****Im-a-tiger: **_**The Little Mermaid**_**. DO I EVEN HAVE TO ADVERTISE FOR THIS? IS THE TITLE NOT ENOUGH? CAN THIS EVEN TURN OUT BAD? I think not. I actually find it disastrous that if you browse "mermaid kanda" on there will only be **_**one**_** result with mermaid!Kanda. WHAT D: so go read this little pearl of FFN and be proud you're a member of LaviYuu Avant-garde Devotees (current membership: 1)**

**Critique (as well as mindless babble) reviews always appreciated.**


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